On Friday night we went over to Papa Sy and Nana's for dinner before going to Erev Rosh Hashanah services. It was nice. All of your cousins were there. Little Noah is quite the cutie and can be quite the shreiker.

Papa Sy, in Papa Sy style, presented Mom, Aunt Abby and Uncle Andrew with a book that he wrote about his life. It is called, "My Cruise." People can even buy it on the Internet.



I scanned through it and of course looked for mention of you. In addition to these pages, the last photo in the book, actually the last page of the whole book, is of you.







Mom and I sat in a row in the sanctuary that was next to the plaque with your name. I said to Mom that it will be very emotional to have Jack and Joe's Bar Mitzvahs in the same sanctuary where we had your funeral, where your body lay in its casket.

We went to the cemetery yesterday. Jack and Joe were playing at Susan's with Alex and Simon. I took a blanket out of the back of the minivan and spread it out next to your headstone. Mom and I lay down on it and Mom fell asleep for a little bit. I just sat and thought. I don't remember what I was thinking about. It even rained a tiny bit but not enough to make us move. And we saw a baby deer.

There is someone who was recently buried very close to you. She has the name of an old Jewish lady. I forget what it was. She doesn't have a headstone yet, so I don't know how old she was. I will report back but I bet she was in her eighties or nineties.

We visited Grandma on the way out. Mown grass always collects on her headstone. I used the blanket to sweep it all away. We left shiny smooth stones on both of your headstones.

The bummer about Rosh Hashanah starting on shabbat is they didn't blow the shofar. Jack said that someone came to school last week and blew the shofar to the tune of "Hail to the Redskins." That is one of the coolest things I've ever heard of. Must have done something 'cause the Redskins won their first game of the season yesterday. The guy who owns the Redskins is Jewish and we just found out last week that the coach of the Redskins when I was growing up, George Allen, was married to a Jewish woman. Maybe Jack's saxophone playing will lead to shofar blowing... and Hail to the Redskins shofar blowing.

Tekiah Gedolah Touchdownah!

When I was sitting with Mom at services I was looking around and I saw all of these people sitting with their families and it looked very sweet. Kids had their heads on the shoulders of their moms and dads -- people were whispering in each others ears and holding hands -- everyone was just really close. The High Holidays are important just for that. I was trying to think of other times when you get to sit close like that. Maybe movies, but that's about it.

I was remembering how I got big enough to put my arm around Pop Pop Teddy when we were sitting next to each other at services and I really liked that a lot. I miss sitting with him and sitting with Grandma. Grandma used to take her shoes off during services to try and stay comfortable. She loved going to High Holiday services to see everyone she hadn't seen for a while. I used to give her grief for gossiping. Even though I was kinda joking, I was probably too hard on her. But she was okay.

I guess Pop Pop Teddy is sitting with Jeri now. I wonder if they still go to services at Churchill, which was my high school. They have services there because there are too many people to fit in the sanctuary at Har Shalom. That is where we had Grandma's funeral. I remember being fine through that whole service and then just completely falling apart at the end. But I fell apart because you were so sick and I was so scared. I must have put my head on Mom's shoulder, but the only thing I really remember is sitting there okay and then suddenly weeping uncontrollably.

I miss both of you uncontrollably. Happy New Year.

Hen, I am terribly sad. I am sad for Beth and Mike. Their son died. He didn't want to live anymore. Mom is terribly sad, too. Mom and I are going to go to the funeral tomorrow. You loved visiting with Beth and you loved the way she said "Oh Dear." You would walk around saying "Oh Dear" all the time.

You don't remember this but when you were one year old we went to Martha's Vineyard, which is an island off of Massachusetts, and stayed in Beth and Mike's house as a little vacation before one of your surgeries in Boston. We had such a great time there together. It was Rosh Hashanah.



You, Mom and I went to tashlich services at Lambert's Cove and it was one of my favorite memories of us together as a family. We were on a beach - very different from tashlich in Washington, DC - and a young girl just fell in love with you and played with you on the sand.

Beth and Mike were very generous to us with their house and their love for you. I feel terrible that they have to go through this.

We went to the cemetery on Sunday. It was a great visit. The weather was perfect. Jack was with Matthew at his swimming pool. Mom, Joe and I hung out for a long while. Mom and I cried at different times just thinking about you. Emma and Sam left you little notes tied up in the tree next to your grave.

I left a bunch of your little guys - a tiny race car, a Pokemon coin, a Charmander and some other things - next to the headstone. I stomped them into the ground a bit so the lawnmower wouldn't eat them. I hope they are still there.

Uncle Dan is here. He flew in yesterday in his plane and I picked him up at the airport not too far from where I work. It is nice to have him here. He and your Hannah just flew up to Seattle and went camping. He is a really cool dad, and a great uncle.

We are inviting people to Aunt Abby's house for a concert for the Hope for Henry Foundation. This is what we are going to send out.

This benefit concert, on what would have been Henry's 8th birthday, launches the Hope for Henry Foundation which will improve the lives and nurture the spirits of children and families living with Fanconi anemia and other life-threatening illnesses. The Foundation will continue to spread the magic that Henry brought to the world during his short life.

Please join us as we welcome recording artist Cindy Bullens for this stop on her "living room" tour. Cindy first broke onto the scene back in the 70's as a backup singer with Elton John, appearing on his monster hit, "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart."

In 1978, Cindy was nominated for a Grammy Award for her vocal performance on the Grease film soundtrack. She was nominated for a Grammy in 1979, for her own single "Survivor".

Later in her career, Cindy lost her 11 year old daughter Jessie and was inspired to release an album entitled Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth, which is described as "a heart-rendered requiem for Bullens' young daughter who died of cancer in 1996, though it's largely about hope for the living. .... Bonnie Raitt and Beth Nielsen Chapman sing along on the soulful anthem "Gotta Believe in Something," and Bryan Adams guests on the title track; Lucinda Williams, Benmont Tench, and Rodney Crowell also contribute. Bullens' voice and guitar simply chime with hope throughout the album. She has never sounded better."

Because this is an intimate "living room" performance, space is limited. We ask that you contribute a minimum of $100 per couple to attend.

Like PaPa Sy said at Rosh Hashanah dinner, you'll be in the room with us.

Jack lost his first tooth! On Friday, in the car with Mommy, Jack wriggled a loose tooth right out of his mouth. How about them apples. He is truly a big boy now. Jack was very proud of himself and we were very proud, too. He made out really well from the tooth fairy. I asked him if he remembered when you had those 5 or 6 teeth pulled last year and bought both him and you Game Boy Advance players with all of the cash you got. I bet you realized there were multiple tooth fairies who looked out for you.

When Jack pulled out his tooth he was on his way over to Nana and Papa Sy's for dinner before Erev Rosh Hashanah services on Friday night. Michael, Rachel, Joshua, Emma and Sam were all there running around as usual. When we sat down to eat Papa Sy made a toast and said he knew you were there with us. Jack added that he knew you were sitting in the empty chair right next to him and Michael. I know he wished he could show you his tooth. I cried. Mom cried.

After we had a little to eat, Mom and I rode the Vespa down Connecticut Avenue to Adas. Joe and Jack hung out at Nana and Papa Sy's. We had no trouble finding parking. That was cool.

Services were good. We were back in the main sanctuary where we had your funeral. Judah Drelich and his parents sat next to us. I had trouble getting through the Mourner's Kaddish. Jen Klein said that she was thinking back to your funeral when she came to services in the main sanctuary. She said she got sad. It helps to hear people tell us they are sad and they miss you. Here is something from a new book I am reading a book called "The Lord is My Sheperd, Healing Power of the Twenty-Third Psalm," by a Rabbi named Harold Kushner. He and his wife lost their little boy, too. I always thought the Twenty Third Psalm was read for the person who died, but it is for the people left behind.

Should you know someone who has suffered a loss, whether the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, or loss of a relationship, and you hesitate to contact your friend because you feel inadequate to the situation, because you are not sure you have the words to help her, please overcome that hesitation and reach out to your friend. Call her, visit her. You don't have to say anything besides "I'm sorry, I feel bad for you." Humans are nourished by relationships, and your friendship, your going out of your way to show concern, has the power to heal a person's soul."

Hen, it is so weird that to this day people who are incredibly close to us don't know how to talk to us about you or how they feel. I wish they would. It makes Mommy and me feel alone sometimes.

Speaking of Rabbis, have I got a doozy of a story for you. I was at Rosh Hashanah services on Saturday (in the chapel where we had Shabbat sing) and who was sitting there but the one and only Dr. Ali Mendelson. Your favorite resident. Here is an email that she sent to you last Rosh Hashanah.

-----Original Message-----
From: AliMerid@aol.com [mailto:AliMerid@aol.com]
Sent: Tuesday, September 10, 2002 10:26 PM
To: allengoldberg@starpower.net
Subject: Re: L'shana Tovah

Dear Henry,

Thank you so much for the lovely picture and note. You look so handsome on your first day at school! I'm going to print it and put it up on my fridge right now!!

I hope you're doing well, and that g-tube is helping you gain some weight!!

Have a happy and a sweet New Year!
(L'shana tova umetukah!)

Love, Dr. Mendelson
(Ali)

I was a little confused because I had never seen Dr. Mendelson at Adas before. We talked for a bit and she told me a fantastic story. At your funeral she was sitting next to a young man and she asked him how he knew you. He explained that he didn't know you when you were alive. But he had heard so much about this boy named Henry, about how special you were, that he had to come to your funeral to get to know you as best he could, even in death. That young man was Rabbi Jeremy Winaker, and he came to Adas when Rabbi David left. Here's the good part. Dr. Mendelson and Rabbi Winaker started dating not too long after meeting at your funeral. Isn't that amazing. Not only have you saved lives; you have helped people find love.

There is more to tell you about High Holiday services, but it is late and I have to go to bed. I sent out an email to people inviting them to your unveiling. I know I probably missed people, but hopefully everyone who would want to come will make it. The cemetery called today and asked me to come out and check out the headstone. They just got it from the bronze guys. I wonder what that will be like.

From: Allen Goldberg [mailto:allengoldberg@starpower.net]
Sent: Monday, September 29, 2003 11:17 PM
To: 'Friends & Family'
Subject: Please Join Us on Sunday, October 26

On Sunday, October 26, at 10:00 a.m. there will be an "Unveiling" of Henry's headstone at Judean Memorial Gardens, located at 16225 Batchelors Forest Road in Olney, Maryland. We invite you all to join us for this traditional ceremony. Please mark the date.

In addition, on Saturday, October 25 -- what would have been Henry's eighth birthday -- there will be an evening fundraising concert featuring recording artist Cindy Bullens to launch the Hope for Henry Foundation. The Foundation has been created to support programs to improve the lives and nurture the spirits of children and families living with Fanconi anemia and other life-threatening illnesses. The Foundation will continue to spread the magic that Henry brought to the world during his short life. More information on the concert will follow shortly.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and for your support during the last few years of Henry's illness and the months since his death.

Allen and Laurie and Jack and Joe

I'll write more soon.

Good night love bug.

Last night I took home this really cool truck we have here at work. I wanted to surprise Jack with it. I pulled up in front of the house and got Jack to come out and look. He said it was the "neatest thing ever." Mom and Joe came out and we all drove it around to the alley to park.



I planned on taking Jack to school in the XM truck. I knew he would really like that. Jack's reaction to it took me back to when I had a similar experience when I was your and Jack's age. One day my Grandpa Nat, you never knew him, showed up at our house in a Red Cross emergency vehicle with the lights flashing and the siren blaring. He drove that all the way from Brooklyn, New York to our house in Bethesda, Maryland. He was a Red Cross volunteer. I thought that truck was the neatest thing ever.

What didn't register in my brain last night was that Jack has no school today. Tonight is Rosh Hashanah. So at 9 pm last night Jack and I took a ride to drop the truck back at XM. Jack brought along the Michael Jordan Space Jam DVD. He was really excited about the DVD player that dropped down from the ceiling. When we got to my office we sat together in the backseat watching the movie. All that was missing was popcorn. After a while we went in to the building in search of pens. Jack found a nice purple XM pen for Mom and grabbed a gold color one for himself. Jack explained that he chose gold because your favorite colors were silver and gold. When I was a little boy, Pop Pop Teddy would bring home these black ballpoint pens from his work that said "U.S. Government" or something like that on them. I really loved those pens. Not sure why; but I did. I am psyched that pens from dad's office are a big deal for Jack just like they were a real treat for me. You loved pens, too. We have great light up ones. I bet I would have been on the moon if Pop Pop Teddy ever came home with a pen that lit up.

When we made our way to my part of the office Jack checked out two big photos of you that I have sitting on my desk. He said he liked them a lot. There is one of you when your were 3 or 4 years old before the transplant. You are wearing a Batman costume. The other is of you when you were 5 years old. Norman took it at the beach. You are wearing a Batman shirt. In the "before" transplant picture you are smiling and adorable. In the "after" picture you look beat up and intense. Jack looked at the pictures and said, "You know, Henry was very brave." I made sure to point out to Jack the photo of him and Mom that I have on my desk.

Jack talked a lot about you with me last night. That felt good. I wonder why he is more open. I did notice something interesting the other day. Jack and I had special "Jack and Dad" time together. I wanted to ride bikes in Rock Creek Park, but we ended up going to his favorite place, the zoo. When we got there he reached out and grabbed my hand to hold. I realized he did this because he was so happy. I am glad we didn't ride bikes. Lately, he has been really good about saying he loves me and holding hands and all that kind of stuff. I know I don't have much time left before he gets too old for that. I am soaking it all in while I can.

After we finished our XM pen scavanger hunt we went downstairs to the studios. Jack went "on air" on the Absolutely Mindy show on XMKiDs. He shared with Mindy and her listeners some of his whale expertise. Jack told Mindy how he wants to have his own show some day. We got home really late. It was 10:30 p.m. and Jack was zonked. So was I.

So Henry, you see how once again I am DriverMan, the superhero behind the wheel.