This weekend is Yom Kippur and the end of summer.

I think Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur should be reversed. We should ask for forgiveness, atone for our sins and then have a happy holiday celebrating the New Year. Even with "It is written and then it is sealed," the happy then sad doesn't seem like the right order.

When I was going to High Holiday services growing up, we would always sit in the same place and the same people sat around us in their usual seats. There was no assigned seating. Either Papa Teddy or I would be ready first and then we'd drive separately and get there early and spread out over 3 seats if it was just us or 4 seats if Aunt Jen was in town. Tallis bags are good for saving seats.

Those seats were a few rows from the front to the left side of the bima - or the Churchill High School auditorium stage as I normally knew it.

We always sat next to Mr. Kahn, who lived across the street from us on Ivymount Terrace. His wife wasn't Jewish so he'd come all by himself. He was part of our family for those services.

Aunt Jen would sometimes come in to town and read Torah or Jonah Haftorah. I was always proud to see her up there in front of the whole congregation doing such a great job. She is now helping me with the portion I am going to read at Hannah's Bat Mitzvah.

I am pretty sure I told you about the one time that I had appendicitis on Yom Kippur. Everyone still came over for break the fast at our house even though we were at Suburban Hospital. The best thing was they were able to put me straight into surgery 'cause I didn't have anything in my stomach.

Grandma and I used to stay at shul for the entire day on Yom Kippur. We wouldn't leave. We both really enjoyed the discussion group that they would have between the musaf service and mincha. Not going home made the fast much easier.



I've been thinking a lot about Grandma and you this holiday. I miss you both so much. Today, as I was saying the Mourner's Kaddish during the Yizkor service, who should walk down the steps right next to where I was standing... Ari. That was something.

Your brothers aren't much for sitting around during services. Actually, they spend all their time running around the halls of the synagogue with their friends. I cannot wait for the day when they sit next to me and Mom and I can put my tallis over their shoulders or hold their hands. I loved sitting with my family at Har Shalom. Sitting with everyone makes you feel really close and connected. I miss that.

And I think I have also told you how my other favorite thing around now is crushing acorns. The High Holidays are one of the very few times that I wear shoes with hard soles and heels. The acorns of Cleveland Park don't stand a chance. When I was walking home after services today trying to stomp every acorn in my path, a guy said to me, "Still a kid, huh."

Here is a picture - from a satellite - of a oak tree that grew from an acorn I planted in our yard in Bethesda when I was Jack and Joe's age. I should drive by sometime and get a better photo to show you just how big it is. It is pretty massive.



Remember I told you about the bird that flew into our car last High Holidays. This is definitely a special time of year.

Here are some pictures from Papa Teddy's wedding. Let me tell ya something -- it wasn't particularly easy being in the same sanctuary where Grandma's funeral was held. I hadn't been there since then. And the place we signed the Ketubah, the library, was the same place were we ripped our little mourner's ribbon and received people before the funeral service.

Har Shalom has a lot of memories for me. I was Kadimah and USY president when I was young. I kinda kissed Rachel Wittenberg there (in a few years I'll tell you how I got in trouble with my friend Alicia in a convent). She later joined the Israeli army, but I don't think I was the cause. I went to Sunday school there. Aunt Jen and I were B'nai Mitzvah there. Grandma's funeral was there. And now we went to Papa Teddy's wedding there. That's what a synagogue is for, right.

Though we really like Adas Israel, I think we may have Jack's Bar Mitzvah at the historic Synagogue at Sixth and I Streets, in Chinatown. Jack and Aunt Jen will do the service themselves.



Jack and Hannah were both at camp so it stunk that they couldn't be there. Grandma's dad, my Grandpa Nat, remarried later in life like Papa Teddy just did. I never told Mom about that until this past weekend. I don't talk about my grandparents because I don't remember them too well. Probably because I didn't really have any type of relationship with them. That is why you and your brother are so lucky.

I am in the airport in Long Beach, California waiting for my flight home. The idea is to take the plane home through the night and wake up in Washington. There is an Eagle Festival tomorrow at Blackwater Wildlife Refuge that we are going to.

I really like this airport. I come here a lot. I've been here 3 times in the last 6 weeks. This airport is small and old-timey. Tonight I sat outside on the balcony here and watched airplanes and helicopters take off and land while the sun was going down over the runways. It was pretty. Balconies are fun. They have them at Adas Israel and the Uptown Theatre. Must be an old-timey thing 'cause those are old buildings, like this airport. I also like that they have plain old stairs to get on and off the airplane. You can actually sit on the balcony and watch someone get on their airplane. In Washington you can never get that close any more.

Another thing I like about this airport is there is a golf course right next to it. When I get here early I stop there and hit balls at the driving range. I have a blister on my hand from doing that last week when I was here. I need to bring a glove with me in my briefcase.

It's been a hard week: first the funeral and then I was in New York and now Los Angeles. Zach was a huge Herbie the Love Bug fan and there is a Herbie VW Beetle in the driveway of his house. When we went over for shiva the 2 things that hit me were that car and the mechanical chair that helped him get up and down the steps. I think it will be a very, very long time before his mom and dad do anything about those things. I hope Mom and I can help them if they need it, but I think they are just going to be super sad for a long time.

We got a lot of different bad news and a little good news this week about other friends and things. I'm tired and I can't wait to get home. Been thinking about you a ton. I love you.

Sunday night might be my favorite time of the week. Tonight I got to sit in the bathroom and watch Joe take a shower. I tell him a number, letter or shape and he writes or draws it with his finger in the mist on the shower door. All the while he is humming "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath. Your brothers are interesting pieces of work.

We are going to Zack Klein's funeral tomorrow. He was an incredibly sweet kid. I feel terrible for his parents and his sisters. I called to see if I could sit with his body but they had enough people, which is a good thing. I sat with Grandma or Aunt Ida, and parents from JPDS sat with you. You stay with the body at the funeral home and read psalms so they are never alone.



On Friday, March 2, 2007, of Bethesda, MD. Beloved son of Greg and Cynthia Klein; beloved brother of Janie and Lily; cherished grandson of Marty and Stephanie Klein, Audrey Horowitz and of the late William Horowitz.

He is also survived by many other loving relatives and friends. Funeral services will be held on Monday, March 5 10:30 a.m. at Congregation Beth El of Montgomery County, 8215 Old Georgetown Rd., Bethesda, MD. Interment Judean Memorial Gardens, Olney, MD. Shiva to be annouced at service.

If you would like to make a donation in Zachary's honor please contact A-T Children's Project at: www.atcp.org Arrangments by HINES-RINALDI FUNERAL HOME INC., Under Jewish Funeral Practices Committee of Greater Washington.


From: parents-owner@mail.jpds.org [mailto:parents-owner@mail.jpds.org] On Behalf Of Julie Fisher
Sent: Sunday, March 04, 2007 2:44 PM
To: parents@jpds.org; staff@jpds.org; alumniparents@jpds.org
Subject: [parents] Additional information about Klein Shiva

The funeral for Zachary Klein, son of Cynthia and Greg Klein, brother of Janie and Lily Klein, will be held at Beth El at 10:30AM tomorrow (Monday).

Internment immediately following at Judean Gardens.

Tomorrow (Monday) beginning around 1:30PM and continuing until 7:00PM the Kleins will be receiving visitors at the home of

Stephen and Susan Sherman
8004 Westover Road
Bethesda, MD 20814

Tuesday, shiva will be from 6:30-8:30PM at the home of Cynthia and Greg Klein

8302 Garfield Street
Bethesda, MD 20817
301-986-8662

Also on Friday, Cousin Adam and Lori had a baby. His name is Nathan Goldberg. I wanted to name you Nathan Goldberg, but Mom said "no way." My grandfather was named Nathan. I thought Nathan and Nate are good names. Mom thought otherwise -- so you were Henry.

This has been an incredibly full weekend.

Cousin Ron -- Nathan's uncle -- Diane, Zoe and Mia all came over for brunch on Saturday morning. Bill, Cristina, Sophia, James and Isabel came over too. It was crazy and fun. They all live so close in Virginia, McLean and Arlington, and we hardly see them. We made a deal that we'd all get together for brunch at least once a month at someone's house.

On Friday night, Sid, Linda, Ari, Helaine, Jake, Abby, Susan, Simon and Alex all came over for Shabbat dinner. We are truly one big, funny family. Last night we went to the Megillah reading at Adas Israel for Purim. Everyone got dressed up. I think my favorite was Jake wearing a cheerleader uniform.

Jack is in the sweatshirt, Joe is a Redskin, Max is an IDF soldier and Ari is just looking suave.




Today, after Joe's baseball practice (he has been asked to be the bat boy for the 6th grade JPDS baseball team),



we went to Georgetown for a Hope for Henry Superhero Party. It was in the atrium outside of the outpatient clinic at the Lombardi Center. There were a lot of families there. They came to the hospital on a Sunday which is saying a lot.

Mom did such a wonderful job that she definitely made it worth the trip on a "non-clinic" day for all of the families because the kids had a great time.

Here is a slideshow of the event.

March 07 Hope for Henry Superhero Party

After everything was in full swing, we went up to the 5th floor to bring some of the party to the kids who couldn't leave their rooms. While we were in the hallway, a mom and her son were walking out but stopped to introduce themselves. She said that Hope for Henry had really made a difference for her son. We gave him an XM radio. The mom told us that she and her son had read an article about you. The son was cured of his cancer, and they were leaving the hospital that very moment to go home for good. Talk about timing.

Everyone started crying. It was an incredible moment.

There was another amazing moment right after that. Mom went into the room of a kid who had just come in minutes before by Medstar helicopter. The pilot and the EMT workers were still on the floor filling out paperwork. The kid had brought a Spiderman toy with him on the helicopter, so you can guess how excited he was to get a bunch of other Spiderman and superhero toys and treats.

A nurse was in the boy's room and when he found out that Mom was your mom, he said that "Henry's spirit is truly living on through all of the good work of the Foundation." He said a ton of really nice things about you and about the Foundation.

While I was on the floor I read a quote tacked up on one of the bulletin boards. It was something that Abraham Lincoln said. And that was back when Presidents of the United States actually wrote their own stuff. He said,

"To ease another's heartache is to forget one's own."

Okay, the weirdest thing happened on Yom Kippur. I dropped everyone off at Adas and then parked down Porter Street right on the edge of Rock Creek Park. When we were walking back down the street after services I explained to Jack that I really like that we go to synagogue in the city.

One of my favorite things to do for the High Holidays is to crush acorns. Shoes with a hard heel (which I never really wear the rest of the year) is my weapon of choice for all of the acorns that fall out of oak trees that line the streets here in DC. I love stomping those suckers.

When we got to the car I opened up the door and Jack said there was a bird in the car. I looked and sure enough there was a little bird with a yellow belly and grey feathers on his wings. I opened the other door and the sun roof so he'd fly out. Instead of flying out he flew from the back of the car straight into the inside of the windshield.



He then positioned himself on the dashboard and closed his eyes. Everyone thought he was sleeping. It was way too fast for me. I thought that he was pretending to be asleep so we'd leave him alone.

I aksed Jack what kind of bird he was and of course Jack told me exactly what kind of bird he was. A finch. I had no clue. Thank god for Jack.

I took an umbrella we had in the car and tried to nudge the finch out. He opened his eyes but had no interest in taking off. I softly prodded him a bit more but he wasn't budging. Finally, I snaked the umbrella under him and he had no choice but to stand on the umbrella. I brought him out of the car and he just stood there on the umbrella with no intention of flying away. I brought him close so everyone could check him out. He was really beautiful. There was no sign that he was hurt or that his wings were injured.

I gently stroked his feathers. Joe not-so-gently poked him. He stayed put.

I said that I was sure the bird was you. Mom said that was doubtful 'cause she is sure you are a praying mantis. I wanted to take him home since he didn't seem to want to be away from us. No-one thought that was a good idea. I always think that when we have an interesting or close call with nature you are somehow involved.

Finally I placed him up on a stone wall away from the road. He stood there for a second and then flew up into a tree. It was the strangest thing.

I was listening to the radio tonight and heard an interview with John Lennon's son, Sean. John was in the Beatles. You liked them. Sean said that he got into his car one day and when he turned the key the radio blared out, "Darling Sean." Those are the last two words of the song that his dad recorded called, "Beautiful Boy." His dad was killed in New York when Sean was young.

Sean said that he was having a bad day and when he heard those words from his father on the radio he was comforted. He said he didn't totally understand how the universe works, but it was a nice moment. That is how I felt about the bird.

Joe's birthday was the usual mayhem. We had all of his boy classmates over. He isn't too comfortable with girls. We went and played baseball at Stoddert and returned home for cake. It was interesting to see that most of the boys weren't all that familiar with baseball. When some of them hit the ball they started running for third base. I started with the wrong assumption that they were all crazy about the game just like Joe. One dad said it was the first time his son had ever gotten up to bat. That felt nice to hear.

Even though Joe probably would have stayed there all day, we moved the party inside after everyone got a chance to hit and ran around the bases - in the right direction. After the boys tore apart the basement we lit the candles and sang to Joe. Mom got Joe (what else) a baseball cake at Max's.

Notice how Joe and Mom are wearing matching National's jerseys. They both look pretty darn cute. Oh, and check out the baseball plates. Mom took care of everything.





We went to the Nationals/Mets game after the party. The Nationals lost 6 to 2. I wanted to get Joe's name up on the scoreboard. But it cost $100 for a Happy Birthday message. Can you believe that. Wow, that's a lot.

The best thing is when they did have the birthday messages on the scoreboard the song Happy Birthday played in the stadium. Joe sang along and he was sure they were playing it just for him. Nice.

Tonight is Kol Nidre and the start of Yom Kippur. I will remember to bring a picture of you for Yizkor. I like to look at your face during that service.

This was in the paper this weekend.





By MARCELLE S. FISCHLER

Published: November 21, 2004

WHEN 6-year-old Henry Strongin Goldberg was being treated for Fanconi anemia, a bone marrow disorder, at a Washington hospital in 2002, he liked to play with Dr. Ali Meredith Mendelson, a pediatric resident. One day, he sat in a lotus position on his bed, tethered to an I.V. Dr. Mendelson assumed the same position on a chair and, like buddies with a secret pact, they hummed "Ommm."

"She has an incredible ability to be extremely professional and direct and trustworthy as a medical doctor but with a passionate heart, someone you would want to take care of your child," said Laurie Strongin, Henry's mother.

That September, Dr. Mendelson slipped into a back row at Adas Israel Congregation, a Conservative temple, for Henry's funeral. She noticed the man one seat over had a bare ring finger and knew the prayers.

After the service, Dr. Mendelson asked him how he knew Henry. He said he had not had the good fortune to know the child.

Dr. Mendelson, 30, pressed on.

"So what are you doing here?" she asked.

The man, Jeremy Adam Winaker, 31, replied that he was the new assistant rabbi. He told Dr. Mendelson he wanted to get to know Henry as best he could, even in death.
Suddenly something clicked. Dr. Mendelson realized that she was speaking to the Rabbi Winaker who knew her sister, Alysa Mendelson Graf, an associate rabbi in Westport, Conn. Rabbi Mendelson Graf had become friendly with Rabbi Winaker in the fall of 2000 in Jerusalem, where they were studying for the rabbinate. When Rabbi Winaker was moving to Washington, Rabbi Mendelson Graf urged him and her sister to connect. They both ignored her.

Dr. Mendelson had tried online dating services in a quest for a mate who enjoyed going to synagogue. But "I had dated a rabbi before," she said. "I didn't want to get into that political drama."

Rabbi Winaker, meanwhile, had congregants clamoring to set him up. "It's very hard to be a single young rabbi in a large urban community," he said.

A few weeks after Henry's funeral, Rabbi Mendelson Graf and a friend began plotting again. They persuaded Rabbi Winaker to call her sister.

Soon Rabbi Winaker was running to the hospital late at night to be with Dr. Mendelson.

"He'd be sitting there working on a sermon. I'd be dealing with some kid's ventilator," Dr. Mendelson said. Three weeks after their first date, he professed his love.

"He gets what I am going through in a way that a businessman would not," she said. "I'm not afraid of what he is dealing with. It's very much reality, very much cycle of life."

But the cycle of life includes light moments, too. Fellow clergy members say Rabbi Winaker oozes sappiness like melting cheese. He cries at sad movies and spends hours cooking gourmet meals for the sabbath. And Dr. Mendelson's friends describe her as "bubbly," "goofy" and a "girlie girl."

In October 2003, Rabbi Winaker scattered rose petals over a game of Scrabble in Dr. Mendelson's apartment, dropped to one knee and proposed. In August the couple moved to Mount Kisco, N.Y., where Rabbi Winaker is now the senior rabbi at Bet Torah Synagogue.

At their wedding Nov. 13 at the Fountainhead, a caterer in New Rochelle, N.Y., Dr. Mendelson wore a beaded satin gown and a tiara. Her betrothed danced toward her surrounded by friends for the signing of the marriage contract.

Later, Rabbi Winaker donned a white ritual robe as he stood under a huppah fashioned from Dr. Mendelson's purple and white prayer shawl. And Ms. Strongin and Allen Goldberg danced together for the first time since their son died.

"This is a sign that life continues, and it continues with Henry in it," Ms. Strongin said. "Not just for us but for Ali and Jeremy, too."

I was listening to the radio on Monday and they had a story about a young man, a soldier, Tyler Hall Brown, who was killed in the war in Iraq. Tyler's mom and brothers and friends talked about him. He sounded like a really great guy.

The last part of the story was Tyler's dad talking. He said, "He truly was the finest young man that I ever knew...," and when I heard that I thought it was nice of him to say -- and understood why he said it -- but I also worried about Tyler's two brothers and if they would think that their dad didn't think they were as great as Tyler.

But then Tyler's dad finished his thought with "...to the point I would look at Tyler and say 'I want to be just like my son.'"

I feel that way about you.

At the Yizkor memorial service on Yom Kippur this weekend, Mom and I said a prayer that says we will honor your memory by doing acts of charity. The Hope for Henry Foundation is going to have a fundraiser next month. We are going to invite everyone to go to Butlers Orchard and have a hayride and bonfire. It will be about a week after your birthday.

The money we are raising is going to help boys and girls and their families in the hospital. Georgetown asked us for computers for the clinic. I know Jack was always frustrated by the computers they have there because they didn't work too well. This will be a good thing to do.

I went to Georgetown yesterday morning and dropped off bandaids and toys for the treasure chest. It was good to see everyone. They said it is really busy there, which isn't a good thing. It means there are a lot of sick kids.

I found out this week that my cousin Bernie and my really good friend Sue are sick. I am worried about them. I don't think you ever knew Bernie, but he is my first cousin, like Michael, Rachel, Joshua, Hannah, Emma and Sam are to you.

I called them yesterday to talk to them. I feel pretty helpless, but at least I can talk to them. I hope that helps. I know you were good about that kinda thing. I am thinking about how much you wanted to help Simon after his father died.

Being like you is a good way to be.

I had been pretty sad for a couple of weeks last month and then I pulled myself out of it. I really don't know what was wrong. I got a little worried so I went to talk to the person who is like a doctor who helps me with these things. I told her what was going on and she said it sounded like I was dysthymic, which means sad, but not so super sad that you need medicine or anything.

I've never heard that word before. I doubt I'd ever use it in conversation.

"Hey, how are you doing?"

"Oh, I am feeling kinda dysthymic today."

And then just as I had gotten sad, I started to get happy again. Today has been a day when I got sad again, but I don't think it will last too long. When I get like I am today, I feel like I have had the wind knocked out of me. Remember when you fell off the playground equipment at Adas and they called the Emergency Squad. I think you must have had the wind knocked out of you.

Another thing that made me sad this morning is an advertisement I read in the newspaper. It seems that this girl named Alexandra Scott, who was just a little bit older than you (Jack is now older than you ever were - Mom pointed that out to me the other day) died on August 1.

The advertisement was taken out by a car company called, Volvo. The ad said,

Life dealt Alex the most "bitter" of lemons yet she made out of her life the sweetest lemonade. She captures our hearts. She inspired us with her ability to live life to the fullest, to help others. In doing so, she humbled us.

The other day when I went to Georgetown to drop off band-aids, I picked this brochure up at the front desk of the clinic.



I read it and thought it was really great what Alex was doing. I figured that she was going to be okay. I also thought of you because Mommy had written this for the Hope for Henry Foundation.

Henry embraced each opportunity for living completely and reminded the rest of us to do so. His sparkly eyes, mischievous grin and infectious smile taught us the importance of maintaining normalcy within the family unit in a life fraught with illness and uncertainty. He had ice cream for dinner and transitioned from the hospital to running a lemonade stand in a matter of minutes. He did all these things because at that moment in time he could – and because he knew enough to go when the going was good. HFHF will continue Henry’s magical way of making each day matter.

I won't be sad long this time. We are going on vacation to the beach. You can't be sad at a place called "Funland," right.

Jack finished up rocket camp. His friend Maxwell was in his group. Next week Jack goes to movie making camp. I think next year he'll go to one camp for the summer. I think it is better that way. Sooner or later I hope he goes to Camp Ramah. That is where Aunt Jen went to camp. When I was a kid I went to Adas Israel's Camp Tel Shalom, but that isn't around anymore. Too bad because it was like going to the Gan. It was a lot of fun.

When I was driving home last night I was listening to a special on XM radio that was playing the 100 greatest songs from the movies. The first song I heard was "Maria" which is from a musical West Side Story. I love the song and the movie. The next song was from a movie called Rocky, which is the story of a boxer - a man not a dog. I was feeling really good from hearing "Maria" and got excited for the Rocky music. But when it came on I just burst into tears. What, huh? I wasn't prepared for that to happen. I tried to figure out why and the only thing I could think of is that when the music to Rocky started to play I began to picture you with your punching bag in your hospital room. We had gotten you the punching bag and gloves to keep you active when you were in for transplant. Then when we went back the last time, we requested a bag and gloves again.

The number one song in the movies is "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." It is hard to argue that one.

After I got home, Mom and I took Liam back to his house. Liam and Jack had been playing with your R2D2, the one we bought when we broke out of the hospital for a day back in Minnesota. Remember how it would beep and talk and roll across the floor. I think it is still working on the same batteries that we put in for you. When we were leaving our house Liam asked if R2 could go for the ride back to his house.

Liam's mommy and daddy are in Seattle, where Liam's mom had a bone marrow transplant last summer. Mom and I made two stops on the way to Liam's house. One was to pick up a pizza for one of the teachers from JPDS, who is home on bedrest. She is going to have twins soon and her doctors told her to stay in bed. When we got to 2Amys, which is next to Cactus, we ran into my friend Matt Paul and his wife and their son Jake. Matt has been coming over to the house every week or so to sit and talk. His son Julien died in March. Julien had a transplant just like you. It was nice to see Matt's family out. They live not too far from Cactus. After we visited for a little bit we went and dropped off the pizza. G'veret Epstein was there. Finally, we got to Liam's house and he brought R2 in to show his nanny.

With all of those errands taken care of, Mom and I motored over to Adas Israel for the evening's main event. There was a Engagement Party for Rabbi Winnaker and Doctor Mendelson. I saw one of the doctor's from the 5th floor at Georgetown who used to take care of you all the time. He is very nice and will be taking over as Chief Resident when Dr. Mendelson moves to New York. Dr. Mendelson introduced us to her parents as "Henry's parents." I liked that. She is one of the great ones. I wonder if the story of them "meeting" at your funeral will be in any of the toasts or whatever is said at the wedding.

It was a pretty Henry emotional day for me yesterday. It all started when I read a story in the newspaper about a 13 year old kid named Mattie Stepanek who died at Children's Hospital. I had seen him on TV a little while ago. He was a poet. He also had a pretty bad disease called Muscular Dystrophy. His motto was "Remember to play after every storm."

That made me think of you and the Hope for Henry Foundation. This is the "vision statement" that Mommy wrote for the Foundation.



The Hope for Henry Foundation (“HFHF”) was established in 2003 to create a legacy for Henry Strongin Goldberg, who died at the age of seven from Fanconi anemia, a rare, fatal genetic disease. During his short life, he taught his family, friends, doctors, and all who came in contact with him how to live well and laugh hard – even as he battled a terrible disease. Henry embraced each opportunity for living completely and reminded the rest of us to do so. His sparkly eyes, mischievous grin and infectious smile taught us the importance of maintaining normalcy within the family unit in a life fraught with illness and uncertainty. He had ice cream for dinner and transitioned from the hospital to running a lemonade stand in a matter of minutes. He did all these things because at that moment in time he could – and because he knew enough to go when the going was good. HFHF will continue Henry’s magical way of making each day matter.

I never knew that so many little kids die. I am really not feeling up to playing or lemonade stands right now, but I will get it together.

I love you.

We all went up to New York for Evan Belkin's Bar Mitzvah. It was nice to travel all together. Jack was certain that the trip was all about going to the Pokemon Store in Rockefeller Center. The best thing is that he wound up having a great time at the reception. He sat with a bunch of other kids his age and ran around and ran around for hours.



Am I cool enough to be in this family?

At the Bar Mitzvah itself, Jack was very fidgety. I was pretty fidgety, too. I noticed lately that I have a lot of trouble sitting still for long periods of time. I look at other people in meetings and am amazed that they can sit in one position for hours. Well, at the Bar Mitzvah I sat and stared at all of the plaques on the wall of remembrance. I liked them better than the ones at Adas Israel because these plaques had the years when the person was born and died. On the Adas plaques no-one knows that you only lived 7 years and the guy underneath you lived 99 or whatever. I want everyone to know you died when you were only a kid. I don't know why that is so important to me.

At one point during the service, Jack rested his head on my lap. He looked up at me and I looked down at him. We kept looking at each other - really deeply, without blinking - and I started to cry. Neither one of us looked away. I think for a moment I saw you in Jack's face. It was all very emotional.

The service was very nice and Evan did a great job leading some prayers, reading his haftorah and talking about his portion. When it was Lisa's turn, she said the most beautiful things about Evan.

Evan, my son, today you will become… yourself.

You thought I was going to say “Today you will become a man,” now, didn’t you?

Well, in a way, that’s what I mean. You are well on your way. And when I look at you today, in your very cool suit, with your very straight teeth, gaining on me in height every second, and when I look back at all the years made out of moments that led up to this moment, I see a sharp, bold outline of the man that you will be.

That man will be a loving man. I know that because I have seen you with your cousins, and with your following of young children, who adore you because you adore them and because they see in you someone they sense they want in their corner, someone they want to be like.

He will be a creative man. One who looks at the world and sees a story, a movie, a drama, a scene, a Technicolor tableau that the rest of us just don’t see. He will write, or film -- or not. Definitely he will dream. Whatever he does, it will use his glorious imagination.

He will be a learned man. Devouring books. And he’ll need a whole lot more book shelves than you have in your room already if he is to keep reading at the rate you’ve been going at for years. I remember reading you Harry Potter. You became impatient; I wasn’t going fast enough. So you stayed up all night, finished the umpteen pages on your own, and carried the book down to breakfast the next morning like a treasure. “Mommy,” you said, “there’s a whole world inside this book.” May you continue to explore those worlds.

He will be a funny man. I am in a holy sanctuary now. So I can’t repeat many of the quips and lines and comebacks you’ve come up with over the years. But trust me, he will be funny.

He will also make a mean marinara sauce, and know the words to every song he’s ever heard as well as the cast and plot of every movie written at the turn of this century, and the tricks of every video game.

He will really, really, really love his dog.

He will have warm and sustaining Jewish memories, of Havdalah during an eclipse at the Shabbaton, and singing Adon Olam to the tune of Carmen, and doubling with laughter at the Purim spiel. When he needs them, these memories will anchor him always.

And he will be a kind and empathetic man. The sort who, as a child, was only awoken from sleep by one thing – the sound of his baby brother crying. The sort who, hearing that the son of a friend was sick, packed up his entire Pokemon collection and mailed it off to Washington, D.C. The sort who, when he got his braces off last week said “Mom, let’s go show Grandpa Mike right now,” and not just because it would make you a little later for school, but because you knew Grandpa Mike had had a really bad week.

When you are fully and completely a man, you will look back and see how these moments from your past, including the one we are sharing right now, all led you to wherever you are in your future.

Like the film you put together for your mitzvah project, the whole of your life will be a collage of moments – some you already know, some you can’t yet even imagine. The whole of who you become will be made of slivers of me and Daddy, your grandparents, your brother, your aunts and uncles and cousins and friends, your careful plans and your chance encounters.

The story – your story – will be how you arrange all these. How you meld them together, and make them yours, and become yourself.

Yes, some of who you are is in your genes, and some is out of your hands. But most of it is choice and work and trust and love.

Today, Evan, you continue to become yourself. And the world is already a better place because of that.

She is a very special friend, mother and writer. We are lucky that Lisa and Bruce and Evan and Alex came into our lives. It would not have happened without you.



I took this picture of Jack during the reception. He looks pretty grown up now dontcha think.



I love you so much.

A big coincidence. We got this in the mail the very day I was going to call Adas Israel to find out when your plaque would be in. I will go over there and check it out. It will be nice to visit the plaque when we are in the synagogue. Joe will be going to school there in the fall. I think Aunt Tracey will be his teacher.

Remember the service that we went to at Adas Israel when it was your Yahrzeit. I may have told you that I really liked the Rabbi's sermon that night. It had to do with the story of Joseph, which I know you loved. I liked the sermon because it showed how we shouldn't waste time holding grudges, especially with family members. I think that this is a really important lesson for all of us. I wish that everyone would think about you and realize how precious time and family are.



Rabbi Shena B. Potter
Parashat Miketz
Adas Israel Congregation
Washington, DC
1 Tevet 5764/ 26 December, 2003

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Channukah! It is so good to be here tonight, gathered as a Jewish community of people from many congregations. Tonight, on this final night of Channukah, we celebrate Jewish survival, the miracle of God's presence and, by our being together, the thriving Jewish community of Washington, DC. As the most recent rabbinic arrival to the Washington area, I have been designated to deliver tonight's sermon. It's a sort of clerical hazing if you will. But, it is also an honor. I thank Rabbi's Wohlberg and Winaker for inviting me to share the bima with them this evening.

This week's Torah portion, parasha Miketz, from the book of Genesis is a wonderful piece of literature. This story of Joeseph's reunion with his brothers contains drama, suspense, and the eternal struggle between good and evil. In fact, the tale is so compelling that it was given the ultimate seal of approval, by being made into a Broadway musical.

At the beginning of the parasha Joseph is in jail. Over the years, Josheph had endured many figurative and literal ups and downs. First, he was cast into a pit and sold into slavery by his brothers as a young boy. Then, he was brought into an Egyptian minister's home and rose to the top of the Minister's servant staff. After being falsely accused of rape, he was thrown into Pharoah's dungeon to languish until this week's portion when our hero begins another ascent. Joseph-- who's reputation as an interpreter of dreams precedes him, is brought out of the dungeon to make sense of a series of the Pharoah's disturbing dreams.

With God's help, Joseph wisely understands the dreams as a foretelling of seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine. Phaoroah, sensing Joseph's wisdom, appoints him as Minister of Agriculture and empowers Joseph to implement a conservation plan. It is in this role that Joseph encounters his brothers who have come down from the land of Canaan to Egypt seeking food. Seeking an audience with Joseph, his brothers are completely unaware of his ture identity. Joseph, however recognizes them and begins a game of deception that leads to a bargain whereby his brothers will receive food ONLY if they return with their father's youngest son, Benjamin. Joseph's manipulation continues as he plants a chalice in Benjamin's bag. When his guards stop the departing brothers, Joseph decrees that Benjamin will remain as his personal slave as punishment for the theft while the others are permitted to return to Canaan. On this note the portion concludes.

Whew! You can't find this much drama on HBO.

Our rabbis were particularly enthralled by Joseph's behavior. To no surprise, they disagreed about the morality of Joseph's underlying intent. To some, Joseph is referred to Yosef ha tzaddik, Joseph the Righteous. But to others, his actions seem vengeful and cruel.

Maurice Samuels, author of "Certain People of the Book," characterizes Joseph's behavior as callous. Samuels draws attention to how capriciously Joseph toyed with his brothers while his elderly father and his brothers' wives and their small children waited for bread. Samuels is embarrassed by what he deems Joseph's, "wantonness, frivolity, and cruelty." 15th century scholar, Don Isaac Abravanel also questioned Josheph's behavior. The brothers' actions, while evil in intention, had ultimately served Joseph for good. Abravanel argues that Joseph's rise to power could never have occurred if he had not first been sold into slavery. Abravanel cannot understand, therefore, why Joseph acts with such cruelty.

On the other hand, others have drawn much less critical conclusions about our forefather. Nachmanides interpreted Joseph's actions simply as an effort to help fulfill his youthful prophecy that one day his brothers would serve him. Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berdichev went a step futher. teaching that it was a sign of Joseph's righteousnss that he did not immediately reveal himself to his brothers. He made himself a stranger to them so that it appeared that his brothers were simply bowing to a king. He also did not send word of his survival to his father, because he wanted to spare his brothers the bitterness of defeat. Levi Yitzchak believed that Joseph's pretense of being a stranger was actually an act of kindness.

And as for the hoops Joseph made his brothers jump through: These could be interpreted as a test he had devised to ensure that they had truly repented for the cruelty they had done to him. He wanted to create some way to determine that his brothers had grown morally. Thus, when faced with the choice of leaving Benjamin to slavery and allowing the rest of the brothers to escape or to all go down together, the brothers chose to sacrifice themselves to protect Benjamin. In this way they demonstrated true teshuvah, true repentance. They encountered a similar situation to that of when they sold Joseph into slavery, and this time, they behaved selflessly.

So which is it? Was Joseph unduly cruel? Or was he more compassionate than most, shielding his family from further pain while providing an opportunity for growth? Neither side of the argument seems completely convincing. In the end, Joseph the Righteous's behavior was neither entirely righteous nor entirely cruel. It was, however utterly human.

It is in Joseph's struggle between what must have been an incredible thirst for revenge competing with a profound need for family reconciliation that we find a powerful lesson.

In the story of Joseph, we see a man give in to his baser instincts. He makes his brothers fear for their own lives and the lives of their loved ones. They stammer and protest. They beg and plead. And Joseph appears to enjoy it. Yet, we also see Joseph's concern for his family. Upon meeting his brothers, he immediately asks after the welfare of his father, Jacob, and of his younger brother, Benjamin. Several times he has to step away from them to compose himself, because he is so overcome with emotion.

We, the reader can taste Joseph's desire for revenge. As the one who controlled who received food and who didn't, the lives of all the people in the land were in Joseph's hands. After all these years, here his brothers stood before him, vulnerable and humbled. He could have crushed them with nod of his head. But, the little tattletale brother, the favorite of his father had also grown up. He had learned humilty, and he had learned humanity. He could have destroyed his brothers, but ultimately he chose not to. In next week's Torah portion, we witness a joyful reunion of the entire family. Joseph reveals himself, the brothers ask forgiveness, and a peaceful new life together begins.

Our moral struggles may not be as dramatic as the dilemmas faced by Joseph and his brothers, but they are no less significant. We make choices every day in how we behave, how we treat others - do we ask for forgiveness often enough? Do we ever truly grant it? Do we needlessly keep alive old grudges, or do we make amends? Do we seek to evolve emotionally, spiritually and morally, or do we compromise that which we know is important out of convenience or exhaustion.

We are here this evening on the last night of Channuka and at the cusp of the secular new year. Tonight, we have lit all nine candles on our Channukiot, and in doing so we publicize the miracle of Jewish survival and vitality. We are taught that the Jewish people are to be an "Or l'Goim," a light unto the nations. What do we do in our daily lives to increase the light in this world and to be a model of menschly behavior?

This secular new year can serve as a time of reckoning. Although it it not a religious holiday, it is a natural time to take stock. What have we done in the past year of which we are proud? Is there anything of which we are ashamed? Have we given enough of ourselves? Have we been a source of light to those around us?

On this last night of Channukah, I have a wish for us all. May we recognize the struggles in our lives, and choose to be a source of inspiration. - May the struggles within ourselves be won by our better inclinations and may we become be a light of healing and joy to those around us.

Happy Channukah and Shabbat Shalom.