We just got your brothers' school pictures. They're kinda handsome themselves. No sign of me anywhere.



It looks like they took Joe's picture either after a trip to the water fountain or after recess. Knowing your brother, that is sweat on the front of his shirt. Joe loves to sweat and to point out that he is sweating. A big source of pride for him.



They are loving their long hair. Mom wants to cut it just so they can see. I'm neutral. I figure they'll ask for help when they need it. It isn't just them. Take a look at these photos I took of them with Sam and Joey Shoyer this weekend at Butlers Orchard. They could all be brothers, or Beatles.

It is the start of the Henry Birthday Pageant. All of your doctors came into town for it.

Actually, there is a meeting of the Fanconi Anemia Research Fund in Bethesda that they have all come to attend. On Thursday night we went out there with Joe and Jack to say hello. We saw Dr. McMillan, Dr. Auerbach and Lynn and Dave Frohnmayer.

There were a few other "Fanconi Families" there. One family is the McQueen's of Richmond. I wonder if they know about Jared DeMarco. The McQueen's are super nice. They are raising a lot of money for research. I met the kids for the first time. There is a daughter and the little boy, Casey, has Fanconi.



He is 7 years old. Very handsome guy. I had the usual feeling of just wanting to hug him tight.

It was especially nice seeing Lynn and Dave. I was remembering when Dave had a heart attack when he was here in Washington years ago. You were still around and must have been well. We lent Lynn our car and tried to help them out as much as possible. Luckily he was in a room full of doctors when he started to have trouble. He came through it all okay.

Lynn and Dave lost 2 daughters to Fanconi and their other daughter, Amy, has FA too. She is in college. There are two sons as well. Honestly, I do not know how they do it. On top of running the Fanconi Anemia Research Fund and being a parent, Dave is the president of a college. That is a huge job.

Last night we went out for dinner with Dr. Auerbach. It is always nice spending time with Dr. Auerbach. She said that Dr. Gillio was here for just a little bit and then headed out. After dinner we met up with Dr. Wagner and his wife. We talked a lot about you -- one of my most favorite things to do. Dr. Wagner remembered how he used to see you at hotels and Georgetown when he came to DC. Mom and I learned a lot more about you and what happened, and how Fanconi transplants are going now. They are going much better. Timing. Timing. Timing.

Dr. Wagner is an amazing man. You and Fanconi Anemia let me and Mom meet really remarkable people -- people who we probably would never meet otherwise.

We talked about the fact that you've been dead four years. To me that is officially way too long. I can't say, "he died a year or so ago," anymore. I think I wrote "dead" here because it is harsher than "gone." I feel like you've been dead, not gone.

Dr. Wagner, Dr. Auerbach, Dr. Hughes, Lynn and Dave are Tzaddikim. A Tzaddik is a righteous person. I feel fortunate to know them. I feel fortunate to know there are people like them who devote themselves to saving lives. It makes me feel hopeful.

Yesterday during the day we went to a farm with Susan, Simon and Alex. I asked Mom about the pictures we took of you and Jack at Butler's Orchard. She is going to find them for me.







Today we went to a book signing at Politics & Prose. Jeffrey Goldberg wrote a book. Mom just read it and I will read it when she is finished. I think it will be weird to read about someone you know. Maybe that is why I haven't read all of the book that Mom has written about you and her.

I remember buying Harry Potter CDs at Politics & Prose with you and Jack. Jack was psyched he went with us today because some of his Gan buddies were there, Sam Shoyer and Jacob Stern. Both of you made the best friends there. Mom and I are a little worried that Joe doesn't have any close friends like you and Jack have.

We are going to go with Simon to Cactus Cantina on Wednesday night for your birthday. Ari and Jake, are coming too. Today I was looking at the picture of the four of you -- Henry, Simon, Ari, Jake -- that I have in my Henry memory box. That made me sad. Mom is really sad right now too.

Twice in the past few days someone has asked me, "Do you know what the worst day is?" One was a friend from work and he answered his own question, "the day we start daylight savings time." The other person was Jack. He said the worst day is the day before school starts.

I didn't say anything when they asked that question, but my mind was shouting "October 25!" I think that is the worst day until December comes around and then it is definitely December 11.

The Cardinals are in the World Series. We are pulling for them. I hope Aunt Jen gets to go to some games. She went to one of the Championship games. I don't know if Cousin Hannah and Uncle Dan got to go.

Hey, I wanted to tell you a funny story. We were telling Papa Teddy about Jack's saxophone lessons and he told us how we came to have the instrument. Your great-grandfather was a used car dealer in Brooklyn. He bought a car from someone or someone traded in a car and guess what they found in the trunk.

I called Papa Teddy just now. It is the anniversary of the day that he and Grandma got married. Before I called him I was thinking, "what do I say." When we talked I just said that I was thinking of him and Grandma, and asked him how he is.

I guess that is what I would want on your birthday next week. Just to know that people are thinking of you.

Mom and I are both taking the day off. I want to go to the cemetery. I think it will be cloudy and probably raining. That is fine by me. It is supposed to rain this weekend when we have the Hope for Henry Hayride at Butler's Orchard. That isn't so fine. It was so great last year. I am bummed if it is rained out.

I am missing you. I love you.

Last night was the Hope for Henry fundraiser at Butler's Orchard. About 150 people came out and we had a big bonfire and everyone went on hayrides. It was your kinda night. We had good party bags without the bags. All the kids got light-up balls and we sold these wristbands with the Hope for Henry motto on it, "Live Well and Laugh Hard." Wristbands are really popular right now.

People said the night was magical. The weather was great and a lot of people said some nice things about you. Mom said that she saw a shooting star and knew you were with us. Normally I don't believe in that kind of stuff, but in this case it sounds right to me.

My missing you is in high gear right now, probably because of the hayride. I talked to Jack about it tonight. He said he was feeling a lot like me. I said that is it good and it is hard to see your face all over the place. You were on the invitations and the signs and everything.

He is doing well. Jack and Joe had a sleepover at Nana's last night with all your cousins. Speaking of your cousins, I've got big news: Aunt Abby is going to have a baby! Michael and Josh and Rachel are going to have a sister or a brother. He or she will grow up without ever knowing you. Everyone is excited.

I was listening to the radio on Monday and they had a story about a young man, a soldier, Tyler Hall Brown, who was killed in the war in Iraq. Tyler's mom and brothers and friends talked about him. He sounded like a really great guy.

The last part of the story was Tyler's dad talking. He said, "He truly was the finest young man that I ever knew...," and when I heard that I thought it was nice of him to say -- and understood why he said it -- but I also worried about Tyler's two brothers and if they would think that their dad didn't think they were as great as Tyler.

But then Tyler's dad finished his thought with "...to the point I would look at Tyler and say 'I want to be just like my son.'"

I feel that way about you.

At the Yizkor memorial service on Yom Kippur this weekend, Mom and I said a prayer that says we will honor your memory by doing acts of charity. The Hope for Henry Foundation is going to have a fundraiser next month. We are going to invite everyone to go to Butlers Orchard and have a hayride and bonfire. It will be about a week after your birthday.

The money we are raising is going to help boys and girls and their families in the hospital. Georgetown asked us for computers for the clinic. I know Jack was always frustrated by the computers they have there because they didn't work too well. This will be a good thing to do.

I went to Georgetown yesterday morning and dropped off bandaids and toys for the treasure chest. It was good to see everyone. They said it is really busy there, which isn't a good thing. It means there are a lot of sick kids.

I found out this week that my cousin Bernie and my really good friend Sue are sick. I am worried about them. I don't think you ever knew Bernie, but he is my first cousin, like Michael, Rachel, Joshua, Hannah, Emma and Sam are to you.

I called them yesterday to talk to them. I feel pretty helpless, but at least I can talk to them. I hope that helps. I know you were good about that kinda thing. I am thinking about how much you wanted to help Simon after his father died.

Being like you is a good way to be.

Dear Henry:

Yesterday we went to get Joe some new shoes. He is a whole size bigger. He was really cute with the big dog at Jeannie's Shoes. Joe got down on the floor and kissed the doggy right on the nose. We got him some sandals for the summer. You always had a lot of different shoes and sandals - just like Mommy. Remember this thing. It is one of those things that is a part of growing up.



Jack and Mom really liked Finding Nemo. The movie is about a father looking for his son. Maybe it was better that I didn't take Jack. Do you remember when we went to see E.T. at the Uptown. I cried through that entire movie. Good thing it was dark. You and Jack didn't see. I think you said, "that was the best movie, ever," when the lights came on.

The people who moved in next door are actors. They perform in plays here in Washington. Maybe we'll go see them. Beauty and Beast is playing at the National Theatre. One of the best times I ever had was watching you watch the Beauty and the Beast production at Disney World. A nice man invited me and Jack to come watch him make a movie about firemen in Baltimore. I need to do that. I think it will be really interesting.

I think we are going to pick berries today at Butler's Orchard.

More later. I love you so much. Weekends aren't the same without you.

Dad