Hen, this is something I started writing a while ago.

I am writing to you high above the earth. I am on an airplane flying to Los Angeles. We are flying straight into the “season of sadness” which is October (your birthday) to December (your deathday). This is the time of year where feelings about you are intensified – which means in this case, they get stronger. Just the other day I was on the bus on my way home and I started to cry.

Here is what happened… I was listening to Bruce Springsteen and thinking about how Jack is going to go to his first rock concert. If you haven’t guessed, I am very excited for him. I quickly switched to thinking how this would have been your first real concert too. You went to see Lucinda Williams once, but you were in a car seat so that doesn’t really count.

In Mom’s eulogy she said you were the encore of a Springsteen show.

Then I clicked around on the iPod to find this band I like called Marah. Mom and I went to see them the other night in Virginia. I have a short attention span and switch between songs the way I switch channels on TV. They have a song called Crying on an Airplane. That made me think about all of the times that I have been on an airplane and started thinking about you and ended up crying. I don’t know if it is looking at the clouds or feeling just very alone, but I have these “Henry Moments” where I feel close to you and very sad at the same time.

Mom told me how she ended up crying the other day. I think she described to me the “progression.” Here is how it went. We were having everyone over for to eat on Sunday morning, more on that later, and Mom was thinking what to make. She thought about something that Beth (Oh Dear) cooks for brunches and that made her think about how you used to call her “Bethie.” That’s all it took.

A few days ago, opening up the computer made me sad. I looked at the photo on my desktop of Mom, Jack, Joe and me at the National’s game when the computer screen warmed up. We all look so happy and we are. But you are so missing.

Then the other night at dinner. It wasn’t that we were all so happy. It was just that you and your personality were missing. We were all sitting around the table and talking and I felt that you were not there. You were the perfect fit between Jack and Joe. You would’ve kept the peace. It’s like a three-legged dog. He gets around okay but you're very aware that something is missing.

And then there was last weekend. I did that 100 mile bike ride I have done the past couple of years. Steven broke his wrist so he couldn’t make it, but Jake’s dad, Richard came. We drove in the Defender to St. Michaels and met Mom, the guys and Nana and Papa. The weather was fantabulous. Here is a picture Mom took.



Driving around in the Defender without the top on has been a blast. It is not a very sensible car, but it is a very fun car. Thanks to the drought -- which means it isn't raining -- and how warm it has stayed, we have been able to drive around “topless” for a long time now. Mom and Jack and Joe love it, and that makes me very happy. Jack wants us to get a license plate that says, "Ha Beast," which would be Hebrew for "The Beast." I may do that.



There are no airbags so Jack and Joe are okay to sit in the front seat. I have taught them the whole concept of "Shotgun." If you want to sit in the passenger seat in front you need to call "Shotgun" when you are in sight of the truck. There is a lot of competition for that front seat, but the back is pretty cool. There is a middle seat, but there are also benches on the side and you get to sit facing in.

I bring this up a lot, but I am glad that Mark sat you in the front seat of the car when he took you out for pancakes.

I think I know why Mom is really into the truck. Here is a picture of the jeep that Mom always told us about. The one that they had at their farm in Virginia when she was growing up. It feels like we are repeating history.



And you have to remember this picture. It is in the living room. It is one of my favorites of Mom from growing up. Not sure I ever noticed the jeep behind her.



The next morning Richard and went to Salisbury for the bike ride, and Mom and the guys had a lazy day with Nana and Papa. The weather was beautiful. It has rained terribly the last two years, so this was especially nice.

Richard and I rode faster than I have before. He was great at pushing me. Sometimes you need to get pushed.



After the ride we drove back to Washington because it was Joe’s birthday. It was quite the perfect, busy - usual - weekend.

The more perfect it is the more I think of you. They are twins.

I have more that I have written and I will put that in another post.

I did that 100 mile bike ride again this weekend.

Last year I signed up to do it and even slept overnight at St. Michaels which isn't too far from the ride, but it was raining so hard that I couldn't see how I could do it.

So this year there was no way I wasn't going to miss it again. Steven came down from New York and we did it together. Did you know that Steven's uncle invented GI Joe and Lite Brite. Could there be anything cooler?



The rain wasn't the bad part. It was super windy. I felt like I was getting pushed backward for more than half the ride. I am glad I did it.

It was great being with Steven. He asks a lot of questions about how Mom and I are doing specifically about you. He gets it. I think much of that comes from the fact that he was there with us in Minneapolis the whole time. It was fun when we lived in his apartment. I remember giving you baths in his big old bathtub.

I also like when he tells me things he remembers about you. It was a great way to spend 100 miles on a bike -- even getting pushed backwards.



Riders on the storm
Sea Gull Century cyclists brave the rain as the first fall nor'easter hits the Shore

Sunday, October 8, 2006

By Ben Penserga
Staff Writer

SALISBURY -- On an overcast and wet Saturday, Vance Carthy waited in his van in the parking lot of Salisbury University's Maggs Gym.

"I'm not sure I could bike 100 miles," said the Salisbury resident, who was on hand to support his girlfriend participating in SU's 18th annual Sea Gull Century bike for charity event. "Especially with the weather like this? Not me."

Thousands of other Lower Shore residents shared Carthy's sentiments and reconsidered attending several of the area's scheduled outdoor events as fall's first Nor'easter brought wind and heavy rain.

Bad weather has affected the Sea Gull Century for the last two years, and on Saturday, coordinator Amy Waters estimates only about half of the ride's 6,000 registered people choose to come out and ride either the 100-mile or 100-kilometer circuits around Wicomico, Worcester and Somer-set counties.

"All we needed is some sunshine," she said.

Waters said many people who braved the elements chose to do the shorter 100 kilometer route -- the equivalent of about 64 miles -- rather than expose themselves to more bad weather.

"From what we've been hearing, around Assateague Island, it wasn't the rain, but the wind," she said.

Bikers near Assateague Island were not the only people to feel the brunt of the storms, as beach officials from all over the Delmarva Peninsula dealt with higher tides and surf and a few inches of rain dumped in the area, with a coastal flood warning in affect for Fenwick lsland and the Maryland beaches, something officials were already bracing themselves for Friday.

Officials from the National Weather Service said rain should be expected this morning before clearing by the afternoon.

Robert Harlan, a Salisbury resident who intended to go to Ocean City with his wife, Becky, on Saturday, changed his mind after seeing the weather report.

"It's just not good to be outside today," he said. "Some of our friends were down there and around Assateague and they said the wind was just killer."

Still, outdoor events did go on and cyclists did ride Saturday.

Brandon Wilmoth, national manger for Team in Training, a sports training program designed to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, sent about 250 riders from 10 states Saturday. The team raised about $800,000 for cancer research.

And as all the participants biked their the final stretch toward Maggs Gym, they were greeted by cheering family and friends.

Among the crowd was Carthy.

"This is what I came out for," he said.

Finishing, some riders looked for their loved ones, while others sought comfort another way.

"Where's the beer?" one rider joked to his partner before making the final turn.

bpenserga@dmg.gannett.com

We were back out in St. Michaels this weekend. Mom was traveling so I took the guys out and she met us there. I went bowling in Easton with Jack and Joe on Friday night. I cannot believe it took me 4 years, maybe longer, to discover that place.

The weather was great and we went out on the Tashmoo. Joe drove for the first time. He was a fantastic captain.









On Saturday I did that 100 mile bike ride with friends from work.



I had said that I wanted to use the ride to raise money for the Hope for Henry Foundation, but we have decided to have a different fundraiser so I didn't want to compete. I rode by a lot of graveyards and thought that no-one says "graveyard" anymore. "Cemetery" is what everyone says. Maybe graveyard is too spooky. Some places call them "bone orchards."



So while I was cruising with "Team XM" past all those dead people, Mom and Jack went for a bike ride back along the fields of dead corn in St. Michaels. Mom said that they had a really good conversation while they were riding.

Jack told Mom that he has an imaginary friend - you.

He also told Mom that he had a different imaginary friend when he was younger. The friend had super long arms and could grab stuff that Jack couldn't reach. I think that the conversation might have been because of a new cartoon that Jack likes called "Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends."

Then Jack revealed something to Mom. He said that you, too, had an imaginary friend while you were growing up.

Excitedly, Mom asked Jack who your imaginary friend was.

"Batman," said Jack in a way that Mom realized that this was so obvious that it was totally silly that she even asked.



The fundraiser is a hayride and bonfire at Butlers Orchard. We sent this postcard out to a lot of people inviting them to come.

You loved that place and it is a whole lot of fun, so I think it should be great. I hope a lot of people come. I need to find someone to play guitar.