Letters to my son.
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| Dear Henry Letters to my son. |
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Sunday, February 29, 2004  Tonight we went to the Purim Ball at school. There was a program and we bought an ad like we did last year. I knocked this one out in 5 minutes. I never showed you the photos of when Mom and Linda and Jack and Ari bought the superhero toys over to the clinic at Georgetown. I'll do that soon.  This ad was a really sweet thing for Helaine, Richard, Susan, Linda and Sid to do.  And I totally wasn't expecting this from your old class. I got all teary when I came across it in the program. Isn't it awesome. It feels good to know that everyone else is thinking about you too.  I like that spring is around the corner. That means that it will be warmer and we can come visit the cememtery for longer visits. Today was nice but we didn't get out there. We took Jack and Joe for haircuts. Joe is a big a crazy nut job as Jack used to be about getting haircuts. It took me and another barber to hold down Joe while someone else cut his hair. Joe was a big sticky goober face with lollipop, hair, tears and snot all over him when we were done. But he looks good now. I love you Superhero Boy. I realize I haven't told you that a lot lately. Please know it even if you don't hear it.  posted by Allen | Sunday, February 29, 2004 The other day I was looking through the photos that Norman took of you for the New York Times and I was thinking about how handsome you looked and I was thinking about how nice Norman and Joanna were to you and us. Interestingly just a week ago or so I called the photographer, Seva Raskin, who took photos of you and us at the Make-a-Wish event we went to way back in 1999. You were the guest of honor at the Willard Hotel, and you lit the Christmas tree and got some nice gifts. Remember the Iron Giant action figure?!   After I saw the photos published in Washington Life magazine, I called or emailed Seva and asked if we could get copies of other photos that she took from that evening. She explained she was busy or something and couldn't help me. A couple of months went by and I tried again but didn't get anywhere. Then you died and it became so much more important to me to try and gather up all memories of you. I called Seva and she told me that she couldn't get to the negatives or proofs of the photos because they were being stored in someone's garage. I offered her as much money as she wanted and I'd pay the person storing the photos for their trouble, too, and even offered to help go through the material to help identify the right ones. She told me that it wasn't convenient for her or the person who was storing the photos. Trying not to be a pest and being respectful of the fact that although it might be important to me it might not have been very important to her, I waited another 6 months or so to ask Seva's help. Finally, when I called last week I added an offer to store her stuff in our garage so she could have easier access to her old rolls of film. I told her I'd do whatever I could to make this as easy as possible for her. Again, I told her I would pay any price. Sadly, she told me that she couldn't help me. I knew it was time to give up even though I didn't want to. I said to Seva that I thought most people in her position would try to make an effort to help someone like me. She didn't like that and said she didn't have to listen to me insult her. And then she hung up. Wow. I didn't expect that.  posted by Allen | Sunday, February 29, 2004 Thursday, February 26, 2004  February 26, 2004 Rare disease claims Fowler 10-year-old By Tracy Burton Lansing State Journal FOWLER - Family and friends will gather today to lay to rest a 10-year-old boy who touched the lives of many. Ben Platte, known for his kind gestures and loving nature, died Sunday of Fanconi anemia, a rare bone marrow disease that prevents production of all types of blood cells. He leaves behind his parents, Adam and Laurie Platte, and brother Mathew, 13, and sister Macy, 4. "He always had a smile on his face even when he was sick," Laurie Platte said Wednesday. "And he never complained." About 500 children in the United States have Fanconi anemia, which can lead to leukemia and other cancers, according to the Fanconi Anemia Research Fund Inc. Ben was diagnosed with the disease in April and left in early January for Cincinnati Children's Hospital for a bone marrow transplant, the only known cure for the disease. But Ben's body rejected the transplant. Laurie Platte said her son kept in touch with the close-knit group of friends from Waldron Elementary in Fowler, which he attended from first through third grade. Some planned to sing at his funeral today. "He cared about people's feelings," Laurie Platte said. "If somebody was hurting or if someone was getting picked on, he was the person to defend them. ... He loved everybody." Ben attended Most Holy Trinity School in Fowler. Students helped put together a quilt for him that included pictures of them, which were transferred onto each fabric square, and Ben's picture in the middle. "We're just really going to miss him," Principal Martha Maier said. "Even though he wasn't in school our children prayed for him every day ... and they'll still keep him in their hearts." Contact Tracy Burton at 377-1206 or tburton@lsj.com. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Copyright 2004 Lansing State Journal Use of this site signifies your agreement to the Terms of Service (updated 12.20.02) posted by Allen | Thursday, February 26, 2004 Tuesday, February 24, 2004 
posted by Allen |
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Friday, February 20, 2004 Our Internet connection has been all screwed up the past few weeks but a man came out to fix it yesterday. I should be able to keep writing more regularly. Two weeks ago I took Jack to a University of Maryland basketball game. I am sorry that he'll never have seen a game at the old Cole Field House which is where I used to see Maryland play. Cole Field House was warm and sweaty all year-round. It was great. The new place is as cold as a hospital.  I wasn't so sure Jack was having a good time, but it looks like he did.    posted by Allen | Friday, February 20, 2004 I sent a copy of Jack's homework to both Dr. Wagner and to Beverly, your donor. Sometimes I think we all need to reminding that we really did get 2 more years with you. You were a miracle. Thank god Jack is wise enough to understand this. He gets it. I also ended up sending it to our friends at The Marrow Foundation to let them know how much we appreciate what they do. Their good work shouldn't be measured in lives saved, but in the extra minutes, months and years they give patients, like you, and their families, like us. I think The Marrow Foundation sent it to a man who gave his new blood to someone like you who needed a transplant. He is very sad because the person he helped died. 
posted by Allen |
Friday, February 20, 2004
Monday, February 16, 2004 Uncle Poopy and I went out to San Francisco for Harry's birthday. We stopped in to see our friends before going to the party. It is so beautiful out there. We saw 4 sea lions in the water below.     Harry's birthday was at a flying museum at an airport. This is the airport where he and Loree keep their plane that they fly over San Francisco. We didn't have time to do it, but next trip I know we'll go up for a ride.      Nana and Papa Sy came out for the party too. I was so tired that I am afraid I wasn't much fun. It was good to be able to spend all of that time with Bill. I know he misses you a lot.    posted by Allen | Monday, February 16, 2004 Sunday, February 08, 2004  'U' scientists to test stem cell treatments in children Josephine Marcotty, Star Tribune Published February 8, 2004 Adult stem cells discovered in bone marrow by University of Minnesota researchers soon will be used for the first time as an experimental treatment in people, according to university scientists. Researchers at the university's Stem Cell Institute want to find out if they can repair damaged tissue in patients who have had radiation and chemotherapy. The stem cells were first identified in 2002 by a team led by the institute director, Dr. Catherine Verfaillie. The researchers injected genetically marked stem cells into mice that successfully formed new liver, intestine and lung cells. Now Verfaillie and Dr. John Wagner, a professor of pediatrics at the university, want to find out if they do the same thing in 16 children with a rare inherited blood disease called Fanconi anemia, which is usually fatal. "That would be huge," Wagner said, because it would show that the stem cells have the potential to replace unhealthy cells all over the body. Fanconi anemia leads to bone marrow failure. Children born with it are treated with radiation and chemotherapy to destroy their defective bone marrow. It is replaced with healthy blood-making cells from a donor. However, the radiation and chemotherapy leave the children with damage to their lungs, liver and intestines. Wagner intends to extract stem cells from the same donor and grow them in a lab. He plans to inject the adult stem cells in the children when he replaces their bone marrow. He hopes the stem cells will transform themselves into other cells to repair the damaged organs. While the risks of the procedure are unknown, researchers did not observe dangerous side effects in animal experiments. If the procedure works, it will have enormous implications for all cancer patients who have radiation and chemotherapy treatments, Wagner said. "And we hope it can be even bigger than that," he said. Eventually, he thinks he can seed patients' bone marrow with their own genetically repaired stem cells, curing the disease without a bone marrow transplant, he said. Josephine Marcotty is at >marcotty@startribune.com posted by Allen | Sunday, February 08, 2004 Thursday, February 05, 2004 When I told Jack tonight that I had a dream about Grandma he told me about a dream he had of you. He said that he dreamt that he was walking over to David's house in the morning to go to school and you were walking next to him. Then he asked me how you would fit in Chuck's car. I said that you guys would sit 3 across. These certificates came in the mail today. Your brother Jack is a really good kid. I like spending time with him. He is turning into a really good skater. I think he has Nana and Uncle Peter's skating genes. Do you remember Nana's speed skating medal that she gave you?  Jack planted this tree for the Israeli astonaut who died when the space shuttle crashed. They just found parts of his diary. They floated to earth after the shuttle exploded. I have to think that his family was sad, but excited to have this. The American's gave it to the Israeli army to translate. I bet Jack could have translated it for them.  posted by Allen | Thursday, February 05, 2004 Last night I was getting Jack ready for bed and instead of reading his Droon book I suggested we do some Mad Libs. Here are some Mad Libs that you did. Looking through all of the ones we've done I notice that there are a few words that we use a lot, [Noun] - Potty [Adjective] - Stinky [Adjective] - Smelly [Verb] - Farts Hmmmm. It does make them funnier. This one is pretty good especially the "Then the male and female get together and 'Pikmynos.'" It took Mom a while to figure out that you wrote "Pick My Nose." That's a good one!  I like the fact that you wrote "Henry" when you needed a [Celebrity] word. I also like that you put down CSA for a [Liquid]. I bet that no other person in the entire universe filling out this Mad Lib used cyclosporine as the word for a liquid.  Lately, I've noticed that Jack has an amazingly big vocabulary and sounds almost like a grown up sometimes when he is speaking. Not too grown up, though.
posted by Allen |
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Of course since I told you that I stopped having dreams, I went and had a dream. It was really strange and nice. I dreamt that I opened a door and Grandma was standing there. It was sunny and she looked young and beautiful, more beautiful than I ever remember. I think this is important because until recently when I thought of Grandma all I could remember was how she looked the evening she died. I didn't expect that at all. I am watching Justice League. Nobody here watches that anymore. Too bad because it is pretty cool. All Joe wants to watch these days is Ice Age. When I watched it with him this weekend I was really weepy. All of the deaths and separations are bad enough, but I think back to you and I watching this in your hospital room before you died. Now we've seen it about 50 times since the weekend so I don't get sad anymore watching it. Joe has stopped using his pacifier during the day. I don't think it'll be too hard to "retire" it on his thrid birthday. One thing that is a bit of a problem is that he won't stay in his new "big boy" bed at night. He comes in to sleep with me and Mom in the middle of the night. Even if I put him back in his bed, he comes back in. We're not getting a lot of sleep right now. The funny thing is that it would be okay if he slept like a normal person, but he sleeps like Jack -- across the width of the bed. That doesn't leave much room for me and Mom. Last night Joe was so tired that he didn't make it upstairs to go to bed. He fell asleep watching, what else, Ice Age, while he was in the "fort" he made on the couch. Joe makes forts by pulling all of the cushions off the couch. He is pretty darn cute.   posted by Allen | Thursday, February 05, 2004 Wednesday, February 04, 2004 Another of the "unreleased" recently discovered photos.  Mom said she had a dream that she was riding the Vespa and big pieces of it kept falling off into the road. I think that has something to do with you. I cannot remember dreaming about anything lately. I used to have dreams of you. You could be alive in my dreams. I guess I don't have that anymore either. Maybe from time to time you'll pop in. We're now working on how to live, just the four of us. Everything is good, but it isn't so easy. Life is good, but not easy. That's where we're at.
posted by Allen |
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Sunday, February 01, 2004  Here is another photo of you that I recently found. I have no clue where you were when this was taken. Jo-Jo just got a big boy bed. No more cribs in the house. I guess that is a little sad. Mommy and Jack went ice skating and Joe and I are watching the Super Bowl. Actually, I am watching the Super Bowl and Joe is sitting next to me watching Ice Age on the portable DVD. Joe currently is addicted to Chex Mix, which he calls "Mex Mix." He is eating them with his right hand and his left hand is on my lap. Joe is awfully cute. He gives great hugs and great kisses. When I walk in the door he runs and wraps his arms around me (just like you used to do), and I fall over with him on top of me and we hug. There is nothing better. Well one thing. On Friday when I walked in the house from work, Jack ran over and jumped in my arms and Joe ran over and wrapped his arms around my legs. I had a top to bottom Goldberg boys hug. That was the absolute best. I am truly lucky.
posted by Allen |
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Remember the service that we went to at Adas Israel when it was your Yahrzeit. I may have told you that I really liked the Rabbi's sermon that night. It had to do with the story of Joseph, which I know you loved. I liked the sermon because it showed how we shouldn't waste time holding grudges, especially with family members. I think that this is a really important lesson for all of us. I wish that everyone would think about you and realize how precious time and family are.  Rabbi Shena B. Potter Parashat Miketz Adas Israel Congregation Washington, DC 1 Tevet 5764/ 26 December, 2003 Shabbat Shalom and Happy Channukah! It is so good to be here tonight, gathered as a Jewish community of people from many congregations. Tonight, on this final night of Channukah, we celebrate Jewish survival, the miracle of God's presence and, by our being together, the thriving Jewish community of Washington, DC. As the most recent rabbinic arrival to the Washington area, I have been designated to deliver tonight's sermon. It's a sort of clerical hazing if you will. But, it is also an honor. I thank Rabbi's Wohlberg and Winaker for inviting me to share the bima with them this evening. This week's Torah portion, parasha Miketz, from the book of Genesis is a wonderful piece of literature. This story of Joeseph's reunion with his brothers contains drama, suspense, and the eternal struggle between good and evil. In fact, the tale is so compelling that it was given the ultimate seal of approval, by being made into a Broadway musical. At the beginning of the parasha Joseph is in jail. Over the years, Josheph had endured many figurative and literal ups and downs. First, he was cast into a pit and sold into slavery by his brothers as a young boy. Then, he was brought into an Egyptian minister's home and rose to the top of the Minister's servant staff. After being falsely accused of rape, he was thrown into Pharoah's dungeon to languish until this week's portion when our hero begins another ascent. Joseph-- who's reputation as an interpreter of dreams precedes him, is brought out of the dungeon to make sense of a series of the Pharoah's disturbing dreams. With God's help, Joseph wisely understands the dreams as a foretelling of seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine. Phaoroah, sensing Joseph's wisdom, appoints him as Minister of Agriculture and empowers Joseph to implement a conservation plan. It is in this role that Joseph encounters his brothers who have come down from the land of Canaan to Egypt seeking food. Seeking an audience with Joseph, his brothers are completely unaware of his ture identity. Joseph, however recognizes them and begins a game of deception that leads to a bargain whereby his brothers will receive food ONLY if they return with their father's youngest son, Benjamin. Joseph's manipulation continues as he plants a chalice in Benjamin's bag. When his guards stop the departing brothers, Joseph decrees that Benjamin will remain as his personal slave as punishment for the theft while the others are permitted to return to Canaan. On this note the portion concludes. Whew! You can't find this much drama on HBO. Our rabbis were particularly enthralled by Joseph's behavior. To no surprise, they disagreed about the morality of Joseph's underlying intent. To some, Joseph is referred to Yosef ha tzaddik, Joseph the Righteous. But to others, his actions seem vengeful and cruel. Maurice Samuels, author of "Certain People of the Book," characterizes Joseph's behavior as callous. Samuels draws attention to how capriciously Joseph toyed with his brothers while his elderly father and his brothers' wives and their small children waited for bread. Samuels is embarrassed by what he deems Joseph's, "wantonness, frivolity, and cruelty." 15th century scholar, Don Isaac Abravanel also questioned Josheph's behavior. The brothers' actions, while evil in intention, had ultimately served Joseph for good. Abravanel argues that Joseph's rise to power could never have occurred if he had not first been sold into slavery. Abravanel cannot understand, therefore, why Joseph acts with such cruelty. On the other hand, others have drawn much less critical conclusions about our forefather. Nachmanides interpreted Joseph's actions simply as an effort to help fulfill his youthful prophecy that one day his brothers would serve him. Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berdichev went a step futher. teaching that it was a sign of Joseph's righteousnss that he did not immediately reveal himself to his brothers. He made himself a stranger to them so that it appeared that his brothers were simply bowing to a king. He also did not send word of his survival to his father, because he wanted to spare his brothers the bitterness of defeat. Levi Yitzchak believed that Joseph's pretense of being a stranger was actually an act of kindness. And as for the hoops Joseph made his brothers jump through: These could be interpreted as a test he had devised to ensure that they had truly repented for the cruelty they had done to him. He wanted to create some way to determine that his brothers had grown morally. Thus, when faced with the choice of leaving Benjamin to slavery and allowing the rest of the brothers to escape or to all go down together, the brothers chose to sacrifice themselves to protect Benjamin. In this way they demonstrated true teshuvah, true repentance. They encountered a similar situation to that of when they sold Joseph into slavery, and this time, they behaved selflessly. So which is it? Was Joseph unduly cruel? Or was he more compassionate than most, shielding his family from further pain while providing an opportunity for growth? Neither side of the argument seems completely convincing. In the end, Joseph the Righteous's behavior was neither entirely righteous nor entirely cruel. It was, however utterly human. It is in Joseph's struggle between what must have been an incredible thirst for revenge competing with a profound need for family reconciliation that we find a powerful lesson. In the story of Joseph, we see a man give in to his baser instincts. He makes his brothers fear for their own lives and the lives of their loved ones. They stammer and protest. They beg and plead. And Joseph appears to enjoy it. Yet, we also see Joseph's concern for his family. Upon meeting his brothers, he immediately asks after the welfare of his father, Jacob, and of his younger brother, Benjamin. Several times he has to step away from them to compose himself, because he is so overcome with emotion. We, the reader can taste Joseph's desire for revenge. As the one who controlled who received food and who didn't, the lives of all the people in the land were in Joseph's hands. After all these years, here his brothers stood before him, vulnerable and humbled. He could have crushed them with nod of his head. But, the little tattletale brother, the favorite of his father had also grown up. He had learned humilty, and he had learned humanity. He could have destroyed his brothers, but ultimately he chose not to. In next week's Torah portion, we witness a joyful reunion of the entire family. Joseph reveals himself, the brothers ask forgiveness, and a peaceful new life together begins. Our moral struggles may not be as dramatic as the dilemmas faced by Joseph and his brothers, but they are no less significant. We make choices every day in how we behave, how we treat others - do we ask for forgiveness often enough? Do we ever truly grant it? Do we needlessly keep alive old grudges, or do we make amends? Do we seek to evolve emotionally, spiritually and morally, or do we compromise that which we know is important out of convenience or exhaustion. We are here this evening on the last night of Channuka and at the cusp of the secular new year. Tonight, we have lit all nine candles on our Channukiot, and in doing so we publicize the miracle of Jewish survival and vitality. We are taught that the Jewish people are to be an "Or l'Goim," a light unto the nations. What do we do in our daily lives to increase the light in this world and to be a model of menschly behavior? This secular new year can serve as a time of reckoning. Although it it not a religious holiday, it is a natural time to take stock. What have we done in the past year of which we are proud? Is there anything of which we are ashamed? Have we given enough of ourselves? Have we been a source of light to those around us? On this last night of Channukah, I have a wish for us all. May we recognize the struggles in our lives, and choose to be a source of inspiration. - May the struggles within ourselves be won by our better inclinations and may we become be a light of healing and joy to those around us. Happy Channukah and Shabbat Shalom.
posted by Allen |
Sunday, February 01, 2004
 Jack's class and the other first grade class came to XM for a field trip. I think they all had a good time. Everyone got to be on XMKiDS. They introduced "13 Under 13" which is the show where they play the most favorite songs of the week. Jack was very excited and did a lot of talking as I took everyone on the tour. I had to "shush" him a few times. I definitely didn't want to be hard on him, but at the same time I wanted all of the other kids to hear what was going on. Mom said that I did okay. I am glad that it made Jack feel good. Jack's friend Maxwell wants everyone to come visit his Mom's work. She works at the jail. Now that would be an interesting field trip.  In true Mom-fashion, I made sure that I put together good "party bags" for all of the kids. There were light up pens and stickers and XM smushy brains and a whole lot of other neat things. I even put an article about XM in the bags so the parents would know where their kids went on their field trip. I am so sorry you never knew XM. I guess it is all Jack's and that is nice and special.
posted by Allen |
Sunday, February 01, 2004
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