Letters to my son.
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| Dear Henry Letters to my son. |
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Friday, April 29, 2005  Noah Gabriel Cherner was just born! Yeah! I am heading over to the hospital. I hear he looks just like Joshua. Maybe one day he'll read this to know you, so "Hello, Noah." Welcome to the world and to the family. 
posted by Allen |
Friday, April 29, 2005
   
posted by Allen |
Friday, April 29, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005 Aunt Abby is at the hospital having a baby boy. I will keep you posted. Pictures shortly of your newest and last cousin. This is really exciting.
posted by Allen |
Thursday, April 28, 2005
What made this trip different from all other trips. We had two seders, three museums or "moo-seums" as Joe calls them, two zoos and lots and lots of fun with your Hannah, Aunt Jen and Uncle Dan. I miss the way you used to say "my Hannah," instead of "Cousin Hannah." One other thing, or two other things that made it different from other trips, like the long trips we took so often with you and Jack to Minnesota and New Jersey, were Starbucks drive-throughs and XM. Mom was so happy when she saw the Starbucks drive-through. I was happy that I could listen to XM the whole way.   Joe was a real trooper He sat and was really well behaved - for 800 miles each way. Jack chilled out in back reading, playing his GameBoy and watching DVDs.  It was a little strange being in Aunt Jen's house. It is really beautiful, but it also has a lot of stuff from when we were growing up. I kept seeing things, like furniture and plates and cups that I hadn't seen in years and years. I like seeing things like that. Seeing people who I haven't seen in forever is cool too. At the first seder Joe made a friend, even though he doesn't like girls. This is Elena. She was a real cutie.  Jack and Hannah asked the Four Questions. They were really good.  If you are in St. Louis, you have to go to the Gateway Arch. I once flew with Uncle Dan in his plane right next to the Arch. You can't do that anymore. Jack called the Arch "the limping Washington Monument. Jack doesn't know how funny that really is. You can go up in the arch. Of course I was thinking back to the time that you, me and Papa Teddy went up in the Washington Monument.    Here are the boys when we were waiting in line to get in. We do a lot of waiting in line. Parks, ballgames, you name it.  This picture of Joe reminds me of the one of you from the beach.   Here is everyone at the top. Mom didn't feel like going up.  We went to a baseball game on Monday night and saw a lot of rain. The game was cancelled so we sat around for a little while and then left. That was a bummer.   To lift everyone's spirits we went to get ice cream at this famous place called Ted Drewes. You know they say the ice cream cone was invented 100 years ago at the St. Louis World's Fair. On Monday before all the rain we went to the St. Louis Zoo. Because Joe is such an animal freak we made plans to stop at the Columbus, Ohio zoo on the ride home. They had a great manatee exhibit and they let you touch snakes and feed these colorful birds named, Lorikeets.  They land on you and at one point Mom had them all over her back, shoulders and head. We all laughed. Thankfully none of the birds pooped on us.  Isn't Mom's smile great. That is one of my favorite things along with Jack's laugh and Joe's hugs. It is great when all those things are happening a lot. They are right now.
posted by Allen |
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Saturday, April 23, 2005 We made it to St. Louis for Passover. Aunt Jen's house is really nice. You would have liked it. I was in a funky mood when we left yesterday morning. I felt like we were leaving you behind. I am not sure exactly why I felt that way - maybe it was because I found all of these great pictures of you the night before we left or maybe because we were going to drive a great distance like we used to do when we drove to Minnesota. Whatever it was it made me sad. I didn't feel like explaining it to Mom who kept asking me what was wrong. Normally I can talk to her about this stuff but I just didn't feel like talking. I don't understand myself sometimes. I found those pictures of you because I was looking for a picture to put on the lid of a box that I bought to be my Henry Memory Box.
posted by Allen |
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Thursday, April 21, 2005 Joe counts funny. This is how he counts to ten. One, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12!
posted by Allen |
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Tuesday, April 19, 2005 Papa Teddy has a friend named Gerri who he spends a lot of time with. She is really nice. It has to be very lonely for Papa Teddy since Grandma died and I am glad that he has found someone special to share things with him. They both came to Mom's birthday and luckily Gerri brought a camera. You will remember that I told you how I forgot to put the batteries in the camera I brought to the party that night. I am really, really glad that Gerri took some pictures and shared them with us.  This shows Papa Teddy with a table filled with cakes and candies. Check out the huge Pixie Stix. Mom loved all of this. A lot of people got up to say nice things about Mom. Here are Papa Sy and Nana. You can see you on the screen behind them. That is where the slideshow played all night.  Uncle Andrew and Aunt Abby said some funny things about Mom that I bet a lot of her friends didn't know about her. Aunt Abby is very pregnant and looks great. I am psyched she is about to have a baby and was very psyched she didn't have it at the party.  Jeffrey wrote stuff about Mom - the next 40 years. He is such a good writer and incredibly funny. Everyone laughed their heads off. Helaine was really funny, too.  This is a picture of Papa Teddy with Gerri. I thought you'd want to see her. I am glad that she came. 
posted by Allen |
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Sunday, April 17, 2005  This is me and Mommy at the Purim Ball. Caryn Pass just gave me this and a lot of pictures of Jack from school that I will put on here. God, I am missing you a lot lately. It is a different kind of missing though. It keeps changing the longer you've been gone. Hard to explain. Joe keeps asking about you every day. "Who are Henry's parents?" "Where is Henry?" "Why can't he come over." I want to get out to the cememtery but there doesn't seem to be any time. We are heading to Aunt Jen's for Passover. We never went to St. Louis when you were alive. We went when Hannah was born and then nothing for 10 years. It was always too hard to go somewhere that wasn't a hospital or doctor's visit.
posted by Allen |
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Friday, April 15, 2005 
posted by Allen |
Friday, April 15, 2005
Thursday, April 14, 2005 We went to opening day for the Nationals. They are the new baseball team in Washington.  We waited an hour to get in. We missed the President throw out the first pitch. I was bummed about that.  Jack and Joe were great. They didn't get crazy waiting on line even though the wait was so long. In fact, they surprised me and Mom by having a really good time at the game and not wanting to leave.  I thought that maybe we'd make it an inning or two and then Joe would mmmeellltttt ddddoooowwwwnnn. But he didn't. He loved it. He cheered for the Nationals and clapped when music was played.  I guess part of it was thinking back to all the times we went to Orioles games at Camden Yards with you and Jack. We went once when I worked at VarsityBooks and we had a good time but it got too late for you guys and we went home. We did go once with you and Jack and Joe and we had amazing seats. Joe was the culprit then. He was a baby and he was not happy sitting in one place for too long. He fidgeted and cried a lot if I remember correctly. We got you and Jack great ballcaps on the way out.  The Nationals scored their first run at 8:14 pm. I was too excited to get the camera out for a photo in time. The scoreboard said 8:15 pm by the time I took the picture. I really wish you had been there. You would have loved it. I really want to come out to the cemetery. I need to see you. I wish you could have worn a Nationals hat.
posted by Allen |
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Tuesday, April 12, 2005 Joe is getting older. He is too big for a tricycle. Today he rode your old Pokemon bike around the block - twice - with Mom. He is really good.   Jack, Joe, Mom and I took a bike ride on the Crescent Trail to Bethesda. On the way back, Jack and Mom decided to ride all the way to Georgetown. I was very proud of Jack. It is a long ride. He wiped out once but got back on.
posted by Allen |
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Saturday, April 09, 2005 I woke up at 6:05 this morning. I was having a nightmare. I was on an elevator at Johns Hopkins (speaking of, remember how the parking lot elevator was always broken) and it stopped at a few floors. All of the kids on the floors looked like you when you were really sick. I got off on one floor and Grandma was there. She was alive and looked very pretty. I saw that she was standing with Jack at a bedside. The kid in the bed had died. Jack said that it was his brother. I thought it was you but for some reason I asked if it was you Jack said "no." It was when I realized that it was Joe who died that I started gasping for air and woke up. I was pretty loud I guess because I woke Mom and she asked if I was okay. You know Mom had a dream that Joe drowned or something a few weeks ago. I guess we are scared of losing him too. The good thing is that Jack is safe in my dreams. We went to the circus today. Remember the clowns at Hackensack. I know that both Jack and Joe are a little freaked out by clowns so I worried a little bit about that. The circus was at the Armory which is next to RFK stadium where I grew up going to Washington Senators baseball games and then Redskins football games. I have had some of the best times of my life there including watching the Redskins play (with Uncle Bill) and going to rock concerts with friends. As we were driving there Joe started asking questions about you and you dying. He wants to know if everyone dies. He wants to know where you are. He wants to know who your parents are. Mom told me that Joe asks her about you every night when they are getting ready for bed. I think she said that Joe thinks you are outside. Mom explains that you are in our hearts. Joe says that he doesn't want to be in our hearts. He is a scared. We have told him that you were very, very sick beyond anything he'll ever experience. Born with sick blood sick; hospital sick; not going to the doctor sick. I think it is interesting that he is afraid of dying and in our nightmares we're afraid of him dying. We got to the Armory a little early so we went to the store at the stadium where they sell Washington Nationals hats and t-shirts. Jack and Joe got stuff. When Jack put on the Nationals hat I felt a bunch of things going on inside me.  I think it was because that is the hat that the Senators wore when I was growing up. They left town when I was about Jack's age and then I never had a team to root for the rest of my life. The Orioles were just not our team. That isn't fair to do to a kid. I got excited for Jack and for Joe. Joe and Jack really enjoyed the circus. You know how Joe love animals. The circus has a lot of elephants and lions, his favorites. I know that Jack was psyched when the motorcycles rode around in a steel cage ball. Mom thinks that she and I went to the circus once on a date, but I don't remember. I thought this was my first time going to the circus. When we got home we walked over to Stoddert and guess who was there playing baseball. Ari, and Jack's buddies Benji and Maxwell, and David Lane all play on a team called the Orioles.  Watching Ari helps me figure out what you'd be like had you lived. You would have been smaller but I don't think about that. I am more interested in how grown up he is. What it is like talking to him. What he knows, what he likes. He is very handsome.  Jack was really wanting to be on that team. We hung out for the entire game. I emailed the Commissioner to see if Jack could be on the Orioles but it doesn't look good. We'll have to work on this.
posted by Allen |
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Thursday, April 07, 2005 I read in the newspaper today that people are thinking about making video headstones. That sounds pretty crazy now, but who knows what life will be like 10 or 20 years from now. I did read something yesterday that got me excited. It said that people can now add video to blogs like this. I'd love to add movies of you to all of the photos. It is like a scrapbook. Look for some good clips in the not-too-distant future. Jack told me a good joke the other night. "What country would eat what other country?" "Hungary would eat Turkey." That's a good one. Love you.
posted by Allen |
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Tuesday, April 05, 2005 You know who I thought about tonight. The rabbi at Hackensack who also did magic tricks. These memories just keep popping into my head. I could be at work or home or driving or the grocery store and all of a sudden I start thinking about somewhere we were together. It was fun when that rabbi came around to see us. He always found coins in your ears. He was kinda old but he was nice and he was gentle. I miss him. I miss you. As I was driving home after work I heard someone on the radio talking about a man who just died. The man who died was called the Pope. That is like the chief rabbi for Catholics. Well this person who was talking said that the Pope was "in a better place" now that he is dead. I think she meant he is in heaven. But as I was driving feeling the warm air through my open window and looking at all of the pink cherry blossoms all over the place I thought about you being "in a better place." I cannot think there is a better place for you to be than with Mommy, Joe, Jack and me in Washington, DC in the warm spring air with beautiful pink cherry blossoms on all the trees.
posted by Allen |
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
For the party the other night, I put together a slide show of 100 pictures of Mommy from growing up and her life now. It played over and over again. Here are some of the ones of her growing up.        This one reminds me of you playing soccer. There is a lot of Mom in you and a lot of you in Mom. How much everyone loves Mom reminds me of you too. Here are some of the ones of her with you that were part of the slide show.       
posted by Allen |
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Sunday, April 03, 2005 We had Mom's 40th birthday party last night. She had a really good time. Almost all of her best friends were there (Sam I Am's mom, Karen, lives really far away in China) and a few people got up and said some really funny and some really nice things about Mom. I forgot to put the battery in our camera so I don't have any pictures. I wish I could show you the tables with all of the cakes and candy on them. You would have loved it. I think Mom did. We missed you a lot last night. A whole lot.
posted by Allen |
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Hey, I think I told you that Sharon's book about Amitai came out in Israel. Our friend Ranit just brought it over today.   I like the drawing. I know it is by Amitai. He was and hopefully still is a huge fan of firemen and firetrucks. We got him a cool firetruck for a present once. Sharon sent Mommy flowers for her birthday, which is incredibly sweet. The book is in Hebrew so I can't read it. I'll wait for it to be translated into English. I really wish this was your story, too.
posted by Allen |
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Saturday, April 02, 2005 I surprised Mom last night. I told her that the minivan's battery was dead and asked if she would come pick me up. When she got there I had her and the guys take the elevator upstairs with me. They didn't see that I pressed the LD button which stands for Loading Dock. When the elevator doors opened everyone was looking straight at the present I got Mom for her birthday.  We both got a little teary but that didn't last long. I was just happy that she was happy. I think the guys are psyched, but it probably won't be until we have it in the house and working before they get really excited. The sign that we put on it has photos that we've taken at the photobooth at Funland. See the picture of you. I took that one of you and Mom in Rehoboth. I think it is nice because all of us on on there. My friend at work, Marc, was really great about designing and printing the sign. I am going to have a more permanent sign made to put on the booth when we install it at home. Oh yeah, I made the bow. I am pretty proud about that. I love you. I said that out loud when I typed that. I hope you can hear me.
posted by Allen |
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Mom had two dreams last night. You died in one and it was a terribly sudden death. Joe died in the other dream. I dreamt that you were around and I was sure that you were just a ghost or something until someone told me you were really alive. I wish Mom could have had my dream instead.
posted by Allen |
Saturday, April 02, 2005
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