Sunday, February 27, 2005
Dr. Auerbach was here last weekend. Joe, Jack, Mom and I took her out to dinner. It was great to see her. The next day Mom kept asking me if I was okay. I didn't know what she was talking about because I felt okay. She said I looked sad.
Later on when I was thinking about what might have made me look sad I thought back to Dr. Auerbach's visit. She told us that they were having a lot of success with Fanconi transplants -- the toughest cases, like yours -- now in New York at Memorial Sloan Kettering. Deep down I know I was thinking about "if only everything could have happened just one or two years later, maybe you would be alive."
You can't think that way too much, but you also can't shut those thoughts out.
I love you.