Friday, August 01, 2003

Today was the last day of rocket camp. Luckily, I had a doctor's appointment right near the camp so I was able to swing by to see Jack's rocket blast off. Jack and Matthew were a team. They worked all week on their rockets and today was the day they shot them into space. It was all very exciting. Both Jack's and Matthew's rockets went so high up in the air you could not see them. They both landed very close to the launch area which was quite an accomplishment.

Jack and I waited for his bus for camp on Wednesday morning with Matthew and his Mom and his little sister Sophie. Matthew and Jack found a big mushroom growing in the grass. They called me to come over and take a look at it. I asked whether they liked eating mushrooms. Matthew said this one was poisonous. He looked at Jack and said, "Don't eat it. One dead person in your family is enough." Everyone was silent. I felt uncomfortable and I am sure Jack felt the same way. The bus came and there wasn't any time to talk to him.

There is something called being "sensitive." Sometimes people have to learn how to be sensitive. Sometimes people just are. You were sensitive. You said the right things because you felt things the right way. You felt love. You were warm. You cared. I never really appreciated how incredible that was for someone Jack and Matthew's age. Now I do.

Even though you were a sensitive little guy, you were also a big brother. You could be pretty hard on Jack at times. Jack can be the same way with Joe. As a parent it is difficult to watch. You want your kids to be hugging not bugging each other. That isn't life.

I hope Jack is able to understand how much you loved him even though you could get upset when he touched your stuff. I am sure Jack's friend Lisa, the woman who he talks to about his feelings, has helped him understand this.

I am going to go to sleep now. I hope I dream about you. That is somewhere we can be together.

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