Sunday, February 02, 2003

Dear Henry:

Jack is sleeping in his space shuttle pajamas and the ceiling over your bunk bed is covered by the glow-in-the-dark stars. I think that says a lot about him. Maybe he is more like you than I realize. I bought a new black light for the stars the other day at White Flint at the glow-in-the-dark store. You used to love that store, Glow. It was right across from the soft ice cream, warm pretzel place. They have glow-in-the-dark Orioles baseball bats. Did I tell you that we are going whale watching next weekend (finally). They have humpbacks and fin whales migrating off of Virginia Beach. I am so sorry we didn't make our trip to Maine this summer.

Here are some really nice notes we received last week. I thought I'd share them with you. It makes us feel good to read them. I am trying not to get too sad right now, but it is hard.

Norman is our friend who took the pictures of you at the beach. That is his photo that is now on top of this page. He and Joanna were really nice about sending us some of the extra photos from that session. I keep looking at them and looking at them. They capture what is inside you. The strange thing is that you aren't smiling in most of them. Norman is really good if he can get you not to smile. Do you remember how Dr. Brochstein would say there is no smiling or laughing allowed in the hospital. You and Jack would just crack up. I think it was really hard for you not to be happy. It took a lot to make you sad and looking at photos we took at your birthday make me realize how sad you really were toward the end. We got these developed just last week.

I found a great picture the other day in one of Mom's albums. It is everyone in Mom's hospital bed at Sibley right after baby Joe was born. We had taken you there straight from a long stay at Georgetown Hospital. Oh-no, look, a family of rule-breakers, everybody is smiling. I think it is very representative of our life, and that's the life that I miss. I can feel that you're not here. It hurts so much.

I am so glad I was your Dad, but I really wish we had more time. I want you to see those whales.



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