Tuesday, October 26, 2004
We went to the cemetery. Ari, Linda, Sid, Jack, Mom and Me. Jack and Ari released a bunch of balloons. I visited with Grandma a bit. There are a lot of young people buried around you guys.
I stood over your grave and read the headstone over and over. It reminded me of sometimes when I read the same page over and over again in a book without anything whatsoever sinking in. I just couldn't connect. Maybe I was all cried out. I wasn't sad anymore, I was just a bit numb.
I got home from work pretty late. When I opened up the door to the house I found everyone in costume, Mom, Jack and Joe. The costumes were superhero and wizard "hybrids" with various mismatched masks, muscles and capes. Jack and Joe were engaged in an all-out sword fight that reminded me of the melees that you and Jack used to have. That put a smile back on my face.
October 25 was once the happiest, scariest day in my life. Now its just the saddest.
I love you.