Monday, July 13, 2009

Thank you for this morning.

I woke up at 6:15 am, which is a little too early to wake up on a Saturday morning. I looked over at Mom, who was snoozing away, and I was determined to get some more sleep. I've been really tired lately. I started a new job - which I know I haven't mentioned, but I will - and I have been getting up a little past 5 a.m. I could sleep to 6 a.m. and be okay, but I am waking up early without an alarm because I want to get to work on time (the job is way out in Virginia) and because I am thinking about this new job and what I need to do.

Well this morning I decided I should catch up on the sleep I've been missing. So when I went back to sleep I had a dream and you were in it. That's why I said thanks. Thanks for spending time with me today. In the dream, you were post-transplant and sick, but you were okay at that moment. We weren't dealing with all your medical stuff. I don't remember many of the details, but one strange thing sticks out. We were driving in the car and you handed up to me from the back seat a huge clump, almost a round ball, of your hair. But you had hair - it had grown out - and this was just some extra that was in the back of your head. Not sure what that means.

I woke up at 7:15 am, an hour later. It was great to see you again. I haven't dreamt about you in forever. I bet I could look it up on here.

We are in St. Michaels for Nana and Papa's 50th wedding anniversary. I drove in by myself last night because Mom and Joe went earlier with Andrew, Tracey, Emma and Sam. For some reason I had the best drive. I was listening to Todd Snider, remember the Beer Run guy. I did something I don't normally do and that is play the same songs over and over. Joe used to do that a lot driving me a little crazy, but now that he is getting older he is expanding his repertoire. One of the songs is called Money, Compliments, Publicity.

Money, Compliments, Publicity (Song Number Ten)
From The Excitement Plan

A man once said that the pinnacle of success
Was when you finally lost interest
In money, compliments, and publicity
A noble enough idea I suppose
How on earth he does this heaven only knows
I know I need a lot more of all three of those
Before I'll ever have the nerve to turn up my nose
At any money, or compliments, or publicity

I'm broke as the ten commandments
Sometimes I'm harder to follow
I don't know whether to walk to school or take my lunch
____ wearing my watch, it's true
You may think you see a man who was looking for attention
But you're looking at a man who has lived through a little bit of
Poverty, some anxiety, some scrutiny

If I ever do get my money together
I'm gonna take care of all of my friends
I'll buy an island run a phone line
Call them tell them all to get fucked...oh
That oughta take care of them
Just be me and my money and my compliments and my publicity
Sing with me
Money and compliments and publicity

It's an issue for me
I went to see this therapist
She said just do the best you can do
Do the best you can do
I was hoping for something more specific

A man once said that the pinnacle of success
Was when you finally lost interest
In money, compliments, and publicity
Many years later
Another man will say all that again
But not for the sake of inspring men
But rather cause he's got nine songs and knows he needs at least ten
Before he can go back to town and turn them all in
And get the money, the compliments, the publicity
Money, compliments, and publicity

Money, compliments, and publicity...

Nana and Papa's anniversary is a big accomplishment. It is amazing that people can be together for that long. The ceo at my new job suggested that I walk around and introduce myself to people so I can learn about them and what they can tell me about the company. When I walk to their offices and I see photos of just kids and no husband or wife I get pretty sad. I end up thinking about how hard their lives have been and how hard they must be now.

Death is bad enough; we are truly fortunate not to know divorce in our family. Maybe it's all the hugging and mugging.

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