Sunday, June 26, 2005
You know the other day how I said that I had an amazing time with Joe because we were doing Stomp Rockets (remember how you and I would launch them over the houses across the street) and hitting the wiffle ball off the porch. Well, today I had an amazing time with Jack.
This morning I had breakfast in Atlanta with friends and it was raining. But by the time I got to Washington, it was sunny and nice. We went to Papa Teddy's pool to swim. In the pool, I kept picking up Jack and throwing him as far as I could and he would hit the water with a big splash. We did that over and over again. I was in heaven. I think Jack was having a pretty good time, too. That's one of the great things to do as a dad.
After the pool we went out to dinner. During dinner, Joe said, "I want to see Henry."
I asked if he wanted to go to the cemetery.
He said, "No, I want to see his eyes. I want to see his nose and his mouth."
"I want to see his face. I want to see the real Henry."
Jack then said something about seeing your "rotting skin," and said something else about your skeleton. He wasn't being mean when he said it.
I "shusshed" Jack, and Mom and I quietly explained to Jack that was something that would be hard for Joe to hear and to understand.
Later in the car Mom told me that she sometimes thinks about you the way Jack was describing, and that is why it is hard for her -- and for Jack -- to go to the cemetery. I sometimes feel like people don't really want to go and now I understand better.
I don't think of you that way. I guess I am lucky.
I love you and miss you.
Goodnight my beautiful boy.