Thursday, July 15, 2004

I watched the man who is running for Vice President, his name is John Edwards, and his wife on television this morning. They lost their son, Wade, when he was 16. What they said about him was beautiful. I've had to do that a couple of times, but I don't think I ever do you justice.

Last night I transferred from videotape to a DVD the story about you that appeared on Nightline. I was psyched to see one of the opening shots was me holding up the DVD player for you while you were in a CAT Scan. I hadn't noticed that whenever I had watched it in the past. I could only watch about 5 minutes because I got way too sad.
Jack has been incredibly sad lately. So sad that he cannot get to sleep. He tells Mom that he is afraid that you scared about being dead. I think he thinks you don't know where you are and are upset. I fell asleep with him a few nights ago and he was okay, so maybe we just need to talk to him as much as he wants to talk about it and fall asleep with him.  I think a "wound" opened up for him, much like it did for me earlier this week.
I think being out in St. Michaels surrounded by the entire family was just too much for me to handle.  On Monday I started feeling that nothing mattered. Mom told me that Nana and Papa were pretty sad after everyone left, too.
I wanted to tell you that I saw a man wearing a Dana Stubblefield jersey this morning. Remember how I taught you how to say his name. He really didn't do much for the Redskins. I think he may have gone back to San Francisco. We did love his name, though.

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